I first heard this song in relation to the World Cup (duh!) and downloaded it for my daughter because it’s a fun song and she loves loves loves soccer. We were listening to music on our drive to Ohio on Wednesday and it came on and it was like I was hearing the words for the first time:

You’re on the frontline
Everyone’s watching
You know it’s serious
We’re getting closer
This isnt over

Tsamina mina
Zangalewa
Cuz this is Africa

With all the stress I’ve been under lately, being separated from my husband, and missing being in my own space and routine and Egypt, I admit this happy tune made me weep.

If it were only me, I’d be back in Egypt already, but as it is, I have to do what is the best for my children. I will be going on a tour of a local elementary school on Monday to start the process of getting the children back into a real school routine and will also be shopping for a car shortly. I guess I really am going to be here for a while…

Overall she does a good job and my windows have been looking really good. But I hate having to go behind her and put the knick-knacks back the way I like them or flip the sofa cushions so that the zipper is on the inside or check the latches on the windows so that they don’t fly open in a hard wind and slam into a flower pot (as happened last week) I know, I know – these are pretty small potatoes over all and not much to complain about. But I’ve notice the same staple on the floor behind the bathroom door now for two weeks. I’ve left it there just to see how long before she notices it. Another tiny reminder to me that I would be doing it all so much better.

This week I hid my dish sponge before she came. Yes, I’m sick – and very picky about how my sponges are used and for what purpose. I nearly outwitted myself as I couldn’t find it when I went to wash dishes later in the evening after dinner.

I had planned to start on a new quilting project this week. The first thing I needed to do was to wash all the fabrics I intended to use. I started that, but then began to second guess my color / pattern choices. Nearly a week later and I haven’t cut a piece. I’m still debating color choices, trying to put things together in my mind and see the answer before I cut anything. I want to use my precious balis and batiks but it’s so hard to take the plunge to cut into them.

I’ve been going to a chiropractor for a few weeks for a problem that I’ve had for years – stiff shoulders. Stiff enough that turning my neck is uncomfortable. So stiff that I’ve managed to pinch a nerve in my shoulder so that that when I lie on my back my shoulder hurts and eventually my arm will fall asleep. Taking a break from heavy cleaning is actually not a bad thing from that perspective.

I’ve had x-rays done to look for any structural issues and good news is that my upper back doesn’t look too too bad. A few degenerative disks, but given how bad my lower back is, that isn’t surprising. Nope, main problem is muscle tension. The chiropractor has twisted and cracked me very thoroughly in the last few weeks and it seems to be helping. He’s also given me a prescription: continue doing yoga and also watch my posture. Shoulders back and down.

It’s kind of ridiculous how often I have to remind myself to adjust my shoulders down. Whenever did I get in such a habit of hunching them up? It’s not only a problem when I sit over my computer or my sewing machine either. It’s all the time. My husband carries stress in his lower back, mine is all in my shoulders. Overall, my life is pretty good so it’s absolutely absurd how often I have to tell myself to relax.

Sometimes I find things to worry about and other times my daughter helpfully supplies them – like when I discovered she went behind my back and started a Facebook profile behind my back. I happened upon it by accident and when I went to check it out, her privacy controls were next to nonexistent. Is it any wonder my shoulders are stiff? Even my acid reflux flared up when I found that. She’s lucky she’s been away on a class trip for a few days to let me cool down and think things out before I confront her on her deception. She is only ten and has no idea of what she is inviting into her life by exploring the internet without a guide.

Raising children in today’s world is a stressful job and judging by my experiences with my own mother, motherhood means you never stop worrying about your children. My youngest is only eight so I anticipate much to stew about in the coming years. Yoga or not, my shoulders will likely be rigid until I die.

Sigh.

My bedroom at my father’s house is a very stressful place right now, surrounded as I am by a mountain of Amazon boxes. I’ve been in denial, but I won’t be able to keep that up. I really need to make a start on packing. And I know that I’ll feel better once I can see the floor again.

I am happy to say I’ve made good progress on my next book while I’ve been here, in spite of falling asleep while writing the other night. I woke up a short time later to four pages of k’s. Overall, I’m going home with about 20K words than I came with – best yet, they don’t weigh a thing