Jenyfer Matthews

I never dreamed I’d be gone from Egypt so long when we left on February 1st. I wasn’t really thinking much at all beyond get me out of here, but somehow I thought that we’d have a clearer answer on how things were going / how to proceed one way or another by the end of February.

Here it is already April and I am still not sure what to think.

In order not to drive myself insane with the what-ifs, I’ve been trying hard to be a bit more Zen, to take things one day at a time, not to get too far ahead of myself. If I can only get through this week… if I can only get through this month… if I can only get through the school year… maybe then I’ll know more about what happens next regarding whether I stay in the US with the children after the summer or whether we go back to Egypt so we can be together as a family while my husband looks for another job.

I had finally gotten to the point where I was resigned to drifting along for a while, trying to enjoy what Ohio has to offer in terms of entertainment and activities for the children, when reality butted in again: the school in Egypt wants to know whether or not we’ll be returning in the autumn so that they know whether or not to hold places for the children.

I understand why they need to know, but I’m not sure that my answer of how am I supposed to know will satisfy them. There are several variables that influence that decision and they themselves are subject to change at any time. Is it any wonder my shoulders are tense and I’ve got a sore tongue from industriously grinding my teeth at night?

There are many things to recommend staying in Ohio… but there are also reasons to go back to Egypt, at least for the short term. I’ll feel better once I make a decision – but then I’ll likely torture myself wondering whether or not it’s the right one…

In spite of my rather downcast attitude these last few weeks and not having much more motivation or energy than the creature at the left, I took advantage of the beautiful weather we had on Sunday and made a day of it with my children at the Cincinnati Zoo. Life and motherly duty go on after all.

(It actually wasn’t that much of a sacrifice once I got going)


Aren’t the tulips beautiful? In spite of the fact that they were not poppies, I almost expected the good witch Glinda from the Wizard of Oz to appear somewhere nearby. I’ve always wanted a pair of ruby slippers, and wouldn’t they come in handy right about now…

I haven’t seen quite so many flowers around town just yet and have never seen what I assume is a pussy willow in bloom growing in nature – I’ve only ever seen the dried twigs with their fuzzy buds in flower arrangements.

I am really hoping that all these flowers blooming mean that the worst of the cold winter weather is past us for the season.

The cat exhibits were closed because of renovation and the giraffes are on a maternity leave so we didn’t see some of the more “standard” zoo animals. We did see some “new” animals though. There were three manatees on exhibit, for instance, and I had never seen such tiny penguins before.

The leaf floating in the water on the left gives you an idea of just how small this cutie was!

You can always learn something new wandering around a zoo, reading all the informational notices that are posted all over. After reading about Komodo Dragons and how they hunt, my daughter announced to me that we could never go to Indonesia! Somehow I don’t think that is an immediate concern!

This notice was posted inside the door in the bathroom stall. Thank goodness I’m not a coffee drinker because I think this particular factoid is bordering on too much information!

I’ve had a small discoloration on my cheek that I’ve been watching for the last few months. It seemed to me that it’s gotten somewhat more pronounced over time and I was planning to see a dermatologist in Egypt before all the upheaval. I saw one here today instead.

I’d love to be able to say that I had overreacted, but no. The doctor took one look at my face and also a patch of my chest – with her naked eye – and told me I needed to have a rather aggressive sounding treatment that involved basically peeling off all the damaged skin. One cream she suggested was actually a radioactive chemotherapy cream.

When I was younger, if there was sunscreen around no one I knew had heard of it. My mother actually liked it when I got sunburned because she liked to peel skin (gross, huh?) No one really gave any thought to sun except to go out and sun bathe. Tanned skin is healthy, right?

Being the mother of two red headed children living in the Middle East, land of never ending sun, I have always been very protective of their skin. They each have a UV protection sun swim suit that provides 98% protection. I get them from a company in Australia called StingRay. The suits aren’t super cheap, but StingRay do free shipping to the whole world and when you weigh the cost of the suit against long term skin health, I think they are totally worth it.

As for me, all I can say is that if the universe only gives you as many problems / challenges as you can handle then I must be stronger than I think…

The last couple of months have been difficult to say the least – it’s very hard to live your life when you don’t know what is going to happen next. Will my family move back to the US permanently or will we try to go back to life in Egypt in the autumn? If we stay, should I start looking for someplace of my own to live? Where? Which of course leads to the question of whether or not I should look for a job.

My husband is looking for jobs of course, but he’s been working in a fairly specialized field for a long time and the jobs at his level are few and far between. I have the opposite problem: I have a master’s degree in my field but next to no practical working experience since I’ve been a full time wife and mother for the last decade. Entry level would likely be all I could qualify for, which is fine, only even then I probably don’t look so good on paper next to a shiny new college graduate. Knowing how the game is played going in makes reading job ads a fairly depressing exercise in what is very much an employers’ market. I know that I could learn to do all that an employer might require, but getting the chance to prove myself is the trick.

Here’s the cover letter I’d like to write:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing in response to your ad for ____________________. As you can see on my resume (attached) I have a bachelor’s degree (with honors) and a Master’s in Library Science. Shortly after graduation, I worked for two years in corporate libraries doing online research and organizing their specialized collections before I moved abroad.

I did not work in a library setting in my decade abroad, but nonetheless I honed many valuable skills. As a full time mother and wife, I became a champion multi-tasker. I can do laundry, dishes, cook dinner, and help with homework simultaneously while also chatting online with friends across the world. Time management is another area of strength: I can not only keep my own schedule but those of two active children in my head. I can take care of a family of four including housework, homework, eleven hours of tennis lessons per week, two nights of soccer practice plus two Saturday soccer games (fall only), and still find time for two evenings of yoga classes.

Food management is also a talent: I can make a tasty and nutritious dinner in half an hour from assorted and seemingly unrelated ingredients lurking in my refrigerator and pantry. Need last minute snacks for a class / soccer team? No problem, I’ve got you covered whether you require healthy / fun / convenient / vegan / allergy friendly food.

I also possess incredible attention to detail. Nothing escapes my notice: stains, leftovers, homework / chores left undone, dust bunnies. Need something found? Just ask me. I know where everything in my house is at any given moment. Need confirmation? Just ask my husband or children.

Some might call all of the above talents micromanaging. I just call it efficiency.

As a mother I have honed and expanded my interests in science and health matters: I can now diagnose and treat a variety of illnesses and identify those which require more specialized attention. I have also gained considerable skill in psychological counseling and support. Note: I am not licensed to practice either of these skills outside the bounds of my own family or the sideline of a tennis court / soccer field.

In my time abroad I have traveled extensively which has taught me to appreciate other cultures. Traveling has also allowed me to learn how to navigate airports, bargain in souks, and communicate by way of charades and smiles. I have been to over ten countries and have paid for the tickets and related expenses by making and selling quilts. In addition to quilting, I am also moderately talented in costume design. If ever you require a handmade Tudor-style velvet hat, I have a pattern.

In addition to my many domestic talents, I have also written and published four novels both digitally and in print as well maintaining a website, an active blog, and an alter ego for the last four years. In short, yes, I can type and have good computer and communication skills.

On second thought, nevermind. I withdraw my application for your position. I see now that I am over-qualified. Thank you for your consideration and best of luck in finding the right applicant to suit your needs.

Excuse me while I go out to buy a lottery ticket…

I’m turning into my mother.

There are plenty of ways in which I am very, very different than she was. My mother would never have moved out of the country – she was very impressed when I moved from Louisiana to Ohio after college on my own, but incredibly distressed when I moved overseas. She never understood my love of travel, particularly to the sort of places I like to go – she thought my trekking trip to Thailand last January was insane. Her health wasn’t good in the last few years of her life, but she once told me that there was more than enough to see in America to fulfill all of her travel wishes.

I love to listen to people speak English with different accents, particularly Irish and Scottish, where my mother had some sort of irrational dislike of English accents. I love many different international cuisines, especially Thai and sushi. My mother’s favorite food was mainstream American. I once bought her a Cracker Barrel gift certificate for Christmas which was very well received as were gift boxes from Omaha Steaks and Hickory Farms. (It’s much harder to ship sushi!)

The older I get however, the more I can see some of the similarities. The face I see in the mirror is still my own, but my hair is darkening and beginning to frost itself in the same way my mother’s hair did. I have my mother’s hands and I learned much of my snarky, sarcastic sense of humor from her.

There is one significant and striking way in which I am becoming my mother however. My mother hated to go out after she got home from work, and particularly after dark. If I ever told her I needed to go back to school for some special event or to the store for some school supply, she would do her best to either arrange alternate transportation for me or to convince me I could wait til the weekend for new pens / glue / paper. God forbid I should want to run an errand if it was both evening and raining.

As a child, I didn’t understand her aversion to going out again at all. Now? Once the sun goes down I have no interest in being out and about. Funny thing is that I often have fun once I am out – it’s just a hurdle to convince me to leave my house. I may like to travel but I’m a homebody at heart.

I’ve also noticed that just lately my taste for exotic cuisine is on the wane and I’ve developed a real craving for old favorites from my childhood. Chinese Hotdish, anyone?

It’s been a busy week here in southern Ohio. I bought a manual transmission car AND learned to drive it – I think I’ve pretty much done it all at this point: starting on a slope; stalling the engine at an intersection; driving up a hill; driving in mist, on the highway in driving rain, and also in snow flurries. I even put gas in it the other day A week ago I wouldn’t have thought it possible that I’d be tooling around in a five-speed like I knew what I was doing. Go me!

I also enrolled the children in a very nice local elementary school. The transition for them has not been without its bumps – neither child knew the Pledge of Allegiance for instance, and the way they teach handwriting in the British system is very different from the American system – but they have both found a few friends and overall seem to be adjusting fine. The first words out of my daughter’s mouth when I picked her up after school yesterday were, “Every day it gets better.” After all the turmoil of the last month, hearing her say that really made me feel good.

I truly hope that by getting us all into a routine, I’ll be able to get back to writing again soon. As you might expect, I’ve been a little busy and distracted (and stressed and depressed) lately.

Today I will make some calls and try to arrange some tennis lessons for the children. Both the children are extremely high energy and the lack of organized sports and the cold drippy weather hasn’t made it very easy for them to expend as much energy as *I* would like them to. Fingers crossed that I’ll be able to arrange for at least one lesson a week. Next on the agenda is a community soccer league and a YMCA membership for swimming.

The weekend – who knows? Maybe I’ll just load them up and hit the highway. I’ve got wheels now so the possibilities are endless. Well, not really but it doesn’t sound as good to say “the possibilities are limited to a 50 mile radius and a budget of $20.”

This week Ohio, next week…Ohio…

It’s been nearly an entire month since I evacuated Cairo with my family. When I left, I had no idea how long we might be away. I had to prepare myself for the idea we might lose everything, but deep down I sincerely hoped that we were overreacting by leaving when we did and that we would be able to return in a few weeks and pick up (mostly) where we left off.

I’m not stupid – I know enough about history and political science to have known that even if the protesters got what they wanted that there would be more bumps to come in the transition process from the old regime to whatever came next. The protesters against the old regime had one goal; once they achieved that goal there would likely be multiple, possibly conflicting, goals for the future.

Still, it has been very hard to make any decisions on what to do next. While the news from the region is not encouraging, what with Libya and Bahrain and Iran all staging their own protests, the news from neighbors and friends who either stayed behind or have already gone back has been the opposite. With every cheery Facebook post about resuming school, extracurricular activities, or social events, I wonder why it is I ever left.

In spite of the reality in front of me, I want so much for their message to be the true one.

I went to visit a good friend over the weekend, who works with the US State Department and left her post in Cairo last June for a new post. She in turn has a friend who lives in a building only a few doors down from me in Cairo. When the mosques made their announcements on Saturday 1/29 recommending that people be prepared to guard their homes against looters because the police were not on duty, a call from this women resulted in several armed Egyptian soldiers to be posted along our street. At the time I was under the impression she had called because she was nervous – in fact she called because she saw looters coming down the street. When she called for help, she was told that there was no one to send to her so she barricaded herself in a bedroom and hoped for the best. The looters came into her building but were chased off by the soldiers before they got in her place – only three buildings down from where I was sleeping with my own children.

In hindsight, I’m fairly glad I didn’t know about this incident in detail at the time because I was nervous enough as it was but this story did do one thing for me: it helped me to embrace my decision to stay in the US with the children for the time being.

I am driving to Ohio today to stay with an old friend and put my kids in school. Do I wish I could resume my life in Cairo? Sure. The problem is that life as I knew it doesn’t currently exist – the children’s school is only at 1/3 capacity for students, the club where they take tennis lessons is closed, and the streets are not entirely safe. My husband’s shuttle from work was diverted on his first day back in town because a policeman shot a bus driver during an argument only a few blocks from our house, not at all a typical occurrence. How could I go back and put my children on a bus to school and trust that they would be safe?

For now I will do what I can to give my children a safe and normal place to go to school for a few months and do what I can to find some sports activities for them. I am no substitute for a real teacher and as much as I rant, I am certainly no coach. They need some routine and normalcy in their lives. So do I. I’m a planner at heart but I’m doing my best not to get too far ahead of myself and take things one step at a time. Wish me luck…

The sleet on Monday afternoon ended up delaying my husband’s flight out to London by two hours, but the children sure did appreciate the overnight snow the next day. Ever the mom, I used the snow as the carrot to get them to do their school workbooks. It was amazing how efficient and cooperative they were about it, with the fresh shiny snow beckoning them.

I admit it – after a decade in the desert, I’m not much of a cold weather person. I like the idea of it more than I like the reality. But after the last few weeks, we all needed a little bit of levity to break up all the tension. After the school work was done and we’d all had a snack, I walked the children up to a nearby community park.

(click any image to enlarge)

This is my snow angel. What? You didn’t actually think I was going to LAY IN THE SNOW did you??

There is something irresistible about fresh snow.

The only picture I would allow of me right now.

When you walk from place to place and really look, nature always offers something beautiful to look at no matter where you are.

I saw these before the snowfall – they are even prettier with the snow filling.

I don’t expect the snow to last all that long, but we’ll enjoy it while it lasts. I’ll be especially grateful if the cold temperatures and the snow play encourages my children to sleep earlier at night…

Except a long to-do list.

I have a few thoughts I want to develop into blog posts, but no mental energy or time to actually do it. I’m nearly finished with proofing ONE CRAZY SUMMER for re-release and then get to go on to the last book, ALL THE WAY HOME. Then I get to do all three again, because that is just the way it goes with typos. You never seem to get them all in one go.

It’s not as if life doesn’t go on however. I still have to get the kids out to school every morning, keep up with the usual housework, cook, run errands, and keep up with two active children and their individual schedules. If all that wasn’t enough, it’s Book Week at school.

I hate Book Week. Obviously, I am in favor of books and reading. I just wish the school didn’t require costumes to drive the point home.

Every year for the last four years, I have suffered through Book Week and the necessity to not only think up a character for the children to dress-up as but also to find the proper attire to convey that character, which is much more challenging than you might think. The first year my daughter was the Troll from the Three Billy Goats Gruff. The next year, my daughter dressed as Zorro and my son was Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk. Last year, my daughter was Fern from Charlotte’s Web and my son was Peter Pan (though everyone though he was Robin Hood).

This year? My daughter said that she and two friends were going to be the ugly stepsisters from Cinderella and my son has agreed to be Huckleberry Finn. He would make a wonderful Christopher Robin – and just think how easy it would be! – but he won’t cooperate. I think it was only the hobo stick I promised to make him that sold him on the Huckleberry Finn idea.

It was much, much more fun to come up with the clothes for my daughter to wear to the retro-80s dance party she was invited to over the weekend. In the end she looked much better than I ever looked in the 80s, that’s for sure! It was also astonishing how much older she looked and how pretty. I’m going to have to get a bat to keep near the front door to greet any of the young men who will no doubt start hanging around soon.

And guess what? My son came home with a tooth in his front pocket so it looks like I have a night shift tonight as well…

My daughter reported to me that she had a loose tooth before school a couple of mornings ago. She is notorious for NOT wiggling loose teeth and basically letting gravity pull them out for her, which can often take weeks, so I was surprised when she came home with the tooth in her pocket later that day.

Along with the tooth came the question: “The kids at school say there isn’t a Tooth Fairy, or a Santa, or the Easter Bunny, that it’s just your parents. Why do they say that?”

It’s not as if I hadn’t been expecting this question from her – she is 10 1/2 years old after all. But the tone of voice in which she presented it – not as a statement of fact but rather as a plea for me to prolong her desire to believe in magic is what decided me on my answer.

I told her that the children at school also told her that the world was going to end in 2012 so what did they know about anything? She went away happy.

I told some friends of mine about the conversation and most of them congratulated me on having made a good save – but one friend asked me why I persisted in lying to my child. She has four children and never led any of them to believe in Santa, etc and they had never suffered for it. What was wrong with the truth?

As a parent I don’t go out of my way to lie to my child. When they ask me questions, I do my best to give them as much information as they require and can process. However, with regard to Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy I take a pass. Some of the best Christmases I can remember were the ones where I was waiting up to hear Santa arrive. The biggest thrill about loosing a tooth was finding the money under my pillow the next morning – handing it over to my mother in exchange for the same money just would not have been the same.

I can also remember what a hurry I was in to grow up – how I dressed older, acted older, and dreamed of what I would do when I was finally grown up. What I wouldn’t give now to go back and take it all a bit slower! I’m sure I’m not the only adult who feels that way – in fact I *know* I’m not. When I finally did realize that Santa and my mother had the exact same handwriting, I didn’t say anything to her about it (lest the Santa-train stop!), but it did take away some of the thrill of Christmas morning for me.

What’s so great about reality anyway? Children have their whole lives to learn the ugly truth about life – that it isn’t always easy or pleasant – but only a very short window in which to live in innocence. As adults we escape reality all the time within the pages of a book or by watching a movie. What is so wrong with letting children believe in a little magic for what is essentially a very short time in their lives?

So, in that vein, I have decided that I am not lying to my children, per se – I am facilitating their childhood. It’s all part of being a good mother in my opinion.

And when my word no longer has weight over the friends of my daughter, I’ll threaten / bribe my daughter to keep her mouth shut for my son’s sake…