Jenyfer Matthews

Although Blair entertained herself by creating stories from the time she was five or six years old, she never considered being a writer because her mother was a highly successful children’s book author, and it never occurred to her there could be two writers in the same family.

During the years she wasn’t planning on becoming an author Blair taught public school music, sang professionally, including a stint in the National Company of The Sound of Music, was editor of an educational publishing company; and, after moving to Florida, ran a costume rental business, The DreamWeaver - Costumes and Creations, for which she designed and made eighty percent of the outfits.

Blair won the RWA’s Golden Heart contest in 1999, was a RITA finalist in 2003. Her first (of six) Signet Regencies was named Best Regency of the Year by Romantic Times in 2003. She also won the Best Romance award from the Florida Writers’ Association in 2002 and finaled twice in the EPPIE awards, the e-book equivalent of the OSCAR.

Blair says: “I get up in the morning with a gleam in my eye because I know I’ll soon be sitting at my computer, creating a world of my own choosing.”

Coming September 4, 2008
Steeplechase
by
Blair Bancroft
Cerridwen Press Cotillion Collection

Harlan Dawnay, Lord Davenham, handsome and dashing heir to an earldom, offers a marriage of convenience to a suitable young lady he scarcely knows, only to discover she has no intention of being ignored in favor of his friends or his mistress. Lady Sarah Ainsworth, age seventeen, is not yet interested in marriage. She accepts Lord Davenham’s offer solely because she secretly admires him and has high hopes for the future. But when Davenham steadfastly ignores his young bride, including not coming to her bed, Sarah embarks on a series of adventures guaranteed to drive any young husband wild. From unsuitable friends to unsuitable flirtations, from gambling to calling on Davenham’s mistress, Sarah forces him to pay attention. Until one final adventure almost ends their marriage before it’s really begun.

LEGENDS OF THE PEN

Authors, beware! There be Monster Myths here!

“Everyone knows . . . !” “The rules say . . .” “My critique partner says . . .”

Tired of hearing those phrases? Well, so am I. Though please keep in mind that the following essay is my personal opinion, and I am definitely not saying, “My way or the highway.” There are as many ways to write as there are writers. This article is intended to make you think—to give you ammunition against rigid minds who not only have to have rules but want everyone to do exactly as they do. Take heart. A great deal of what “they” say could be called Legends of the Pen.

My comments are based on fifteen years as an author, sixteen contracted books, and judging more than 300 contests over the last seven years. I’ve also learned a great deal from my many years on RWA’s Clues-N-News, BeauMonde, and other author e-loops. To rephrase, do not believe every “rule” you hear. Think. Question. Reason.

And now . . . we’re off into the realm of offending almost everyone! But it will be worth it if I can assure some of you that there is more than one way to get that book down on paper.

Backstory. One of the biggest myths being propagated at the moment is No Backstory. Some contest entrants, sensing this doesn’t work, carefully put the backstory into the Synopsis, not stopping to think that a reader never sees the synopsis. No, you don’t want to start your book with a twelve pages of backstory, but clarity is absolutely vital. Who, What, Where, When, and Why. Readers do not want to be lost in a slew of unintentional mystery, with no idea who the characters are, their relationship to each other, their desires, motivations, etc. In contests I constantly see these concepts beautifully laid out in synopses, then not one word of it makes it into the manuscript. Some backstory is essential. Identify, clarify. (Contest judges should always read the synopsis last, approaching the manuscript cold, just as a reader would.)

Show, Don’t Tell. A concept most authors have mastered quite well. But in several contests I judged recently, the authors seemed to have been advised to tackle this problem by writing page after page of dialogue—pages without descriptions, introspection, or action. The entries read like play or film scripts. Yet in those media there are visuals to guide you on stage or screen. In books, there’s nothing but the picture painted by the author’s words. Solid dialogue can be as deadly as solid narration unless you add all those colorful extras. How do the characters look while speaking? How do they sound? Where are they? Do they wave their arms, stalk across the room, sit slumped on a couch? Best of all, what is the primary character thinking?

The best definition I know of “Show, Don’t Tell” is that you, the author, must take the reader inside the head of the primary character in the scene. Make the reader see what the hero or heroine sees, hear what they hear, feel what they feel. Do not sit on the outside like a storyteller by a dying campfire chanting about a boring ancient event.

Editing. “Keep writing, no matter what!” All right, there may be some people who have to follow that advice or they’d never finish, but I believe most published authors would agree that Editing is vital. And editing as you go works best for most of us. For example, I often end up with little more than bare bones on my first draft of a chapter. It’s only when I go back and edit that I add all the juicy bits of description and color. If I didn’t edit at the end of every chapter, I wouldn’t have what I need to build on for the next chapter. I’d be trying to add skin to a skeleton without muscles! Everyone must develop their own editing methods, but editing—adding, deleting, tightening—is absolutely essential. I edit at the end of every chapter, again at the end of every five chapters. Then straight through from the beginning, checking continuity, clarity, descriptions, color, etc.. And then I go back and do it again.

Multiple Point of View. There is no question that the best advice for beginners is to stick to the point of view of Hero, Heroine, and possibly a Villain. Especially if you’re aiming at Category. But, if you’re writing Single Title and can handle the switches, multiple POV is frequently used. The secret is in making sure you understand what Point of View is - that if you are telling the story from one person’s POV, you need to stick to that POV, usually for an entire scene. Switching within a scene is usually a trick best left to experienced authors. But don’t let anyone tell you you can’t use multiple POV. However, “head-hopping”—constantly jumping from one POV to another in the space of one scene—is a definite No-no.

Synopsis - Planning. This one has a lot of myths attached. For example: You have to do a storyboard. You have to interview your characters. You have to write a detailed twenty- to thirty-page outline. Truthfully, all you have to do is whatever works for you. For me, it’s naming my characters, at least the hero, heroine, and secondary characters at the beginning of the book. As I name them and list their relationships, they begin to take shape for me. But everyone has his/her own method. If storyboards, detailed outlines, brainstorming techniques from a “how to” book or whatever, work for you, then by all means don’t hesitate to use them. Just know there are no absolutes. What works for one person may be a roadblock to someone else.

Synopsis - Writing. Unless you know the editor you’re targeting requires a long synopsis, 3-5 pages, double-spaced, is generally recommended. You can use a Log Line at the beginning, if you wish. This is two or three lines giving the gist of your book in a nutshell (like a TV guide). Beneath that you can put brief character sketches of the Hero, Heroine, and possibly the Villain. (I try to keep all this short enough to fit on page 1 of the synopsis.) Then, in present tense, you tell the story from beginning to end. You do not add backstory or characterizations that are not in the manuscript. You, as an author, do not comment about the manuscript. You do not say Word One that is not on the pages of the manuscript itself!* Keep your overview of the story line for your query letter. Do, however, try to keep some of your Voice in the telling of your story. Never easy, but your Synopsis should sound like you, not a neutral Readers’ Digest version told by a stranger.

*Note: I feel strongly about this because, as a contest judge, I have read so many manuscripts where everything was laid out beautifully in the Synopsis and then the author jumped into the manuscript, assuming the reader knew everything that was in the Synopsis. Please remember: the reader never sees the Synopsis. Everything you want the reader to know must in the pages of the manuscript itself.

Format. Manuscripts should be submitted in classic manuscript format. (Never attempt to imitate book format!) Just because typewriters back at the end of the 19th c. could only type Courier is no reason why any of us should still be confined to this ugly, anachronistic type font. That said, it is necessary to understand there is a reason for typing manuscripts in Courier. The publishing world determined word count back in the days when Courier was all there was. Therefore if you want to know how long your book is by NY standards, you have to know how long it is in Courier 12. If you can figure this out (see my article on Word Count),http://www.blairbancroft.com then you can submit in any clear type font.

Wandering Body Parts. I believe we all have better things to do than worry about Wandering Body Parts. We’re writing fiction in the vernacular. We “talk” Wandering Body Parts, so why not write them? (I say, as my fingers fly over the keyboard.)

Writing - Craft or Art? Okay, some aspects of writing can be taught, but my personal feeling is that you learn a great deal more from reading the best authors in your particular sub-genre. Be wary of swallowing whole everything you read in “How to” Books. Keep in mind they are frequently written by people who came to these conclusions while trying to figure out why they were unable to write a saleable work of fiction. How-to books written by successful authors, editors, or agents are your best bet for helpful information, although I’m still inclined to see writing more as an art than a craft. Basically, take what is useful to you from these books and don’t sweat the so-called “rules” that don’t work for you.

Strong Writing. This entire article was prompted by a “craft” discussion on one of my author e-mail loops, a discussion that inspired me to sit down late one night, and write the paragraphs that appear below. Fortunately, I didn’t let them disappear into cyberspace with other old e-mails. What I wrote that night off the top of my head emphasizes my belief that good writing is more Art than Craft. That writing comes from the Soul, not from following the so-called rules in a book. Never be afraid to be yourself.

Strong Writing - No Myth. Although an editor undoubtedly grimaces over bad spelling and grammar, I can almost guarantee she/he is not counting the number of times an author uses “was” or “-ly.” An editor is looking for a story that captures her interest. Every time she chooses a book she lays her job on the line. (“Is this book strong enough to sell enough copies to justify my job?”) So if she is gracious enough to tell an author that her writing is “strong,” that’s a true compliment and encouragement, not a reference to nitpicking rules out of “how to” manual.

Strong writing is telling a good story. Strong writing is creating great characters. Strong writing is letting those characters speak naturally, without their words being stilted or superfluous. Strong writing is painting vivid word pictures, whether it’s a crowd scene, a sunset, or an intimate moment. Strong writing invokes emotions, makes the reader care about the characters.

To repeat Number One: Strong writing is a tale well told.

Buy Steeplechase now!

Kathleen Coddington has been writing romance on and off for 15 years. Her first book, a paranormal romance, Witch Ball was published in 2007 by Cerridwen Press. Her second book, Mistress of Deception, a historical romance set in Italy in 1501, also from Cerridwen Press, came out in April of 2008. She is a member of Romance Writers of America and the Pocono Lehigh Romance Writers. In 2001 she won second place in New Jersey Romance Writers ‘Put Your Heart In a Book’ contest and in 2004 she placed second in the Golden Rose. While a member of the Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group she served at various times as VP, secretary and treasurer.

A retired school librarian, Kathleen enjoys reading and travel. Members of two Civil War reenacting units, she and her husband are frequent lecturers at schools and historical societies. She has also published several articles about the fashions of the mid-19th century. She and her husband and three cats live near their son in a tiny town in eastern Pennsylvania where she teaches a novel writing course at the local community college.

From Fallen Angels Reviews
Kathleen Coddington is an amazing story teller. {…} Mistress of Deception had adventure, deception, intrigue, romance and a whole lot of goodness. I can’t wait for the next Kathleen Coddington book to come out. For anyone who loves a good-quality novel than you need to pick up a copy of Mistress of Deception.

Mistress of Deception
Kathleen Coddington

Fleeing her half brother Paolo after his attempt to have her murdered for her dowry, Isabella D’Angelo disguises herself and heads to her uncle in Rome. The journey is full of danger to both her life and her reputation.

Marco Galleazzo is on his way to Rome on an important mission. When he saves Isabella from a group of drunken mercenaries, she begs him to take her with him. Even after he discovers his newly acquired body servant is really a woman, the fear in Isabella’s eyes compels him to help her even as he fights his growing attraction to his mysterious companion.

During the long journey their mutual desire eventually ignites passions neither of them can deny. Isabella longs to tell Marco the truth about herself, but Paolo’s treachery still haunts her. If she doesn’t find the courage to trust Marco, the web of lies she’s created is sure to destroy the love blossoming between them.

And in the middle of that web—Paolo waits.

Excerpt from Mistress of Deception

Something cold and wet brushed Isabella’s cheek, waking her. Swatting sleepily at her cheek, she rolled over and tried to recapture the lingering wisps of a very pleasant dream but the cold, wet touch followed. “Go away Dido,” she murmured. A drop of chilly liquid landed on her ear and trickled down inside.

Irritated, she wiped it away and sat up, expecting to come nose to nose with her pesky mare. Instead, she was nose to scale with two large, dripping fish, dangling from a line held firmly between lean, tanned fingers. She tilted her head back, her gaze moving slowly upward past taut thighs and a muscled torso beneath a black doublet to rest at last on Marco’s face.

“Waking you up so that you can perform your duties is becoming a habit,” he remarked as he dropped the cold fish into her lap.

She stood up, holding the line gingerly between two fingers, her nose wrinkled in distaste. “Where did you get these?”

“While you and my friend over there were sleeping like the dead, I did some exploring.” He pointed over his shoulder. “There’s a stream over there behind those trees. Fortunately, I always carry hooks and line with me when I travel.”

She raised the fish, shuddering at the glassy eyes and thrust them at him. “They’re very nice,” she said with what she hoped was an admiring smile. “You may have them back now.”

He pushed the fish firmly back at her. “I caught them. You clean them.” He handed her his knife. “Better build a fire first. By the time you finish cleaning the fish the coals will be hot enough for you to cook them for dinner. Don’t take too long. I’m starving and I’d wager that when Georgio wakes up he will be too.”

Her mouth fell open. Build a fire? Clean fish? “Signori?” She hesitated not sure how to tell him she hadn’t any idea how to do either.

Marco stared at her an inscrutable expression on his face. “Let me guess. You don’t know how to build a fire.”

She shook her head.

“All right, I’ll build the fire while you clean the fish. I suggest you watch how I do this so that you can do it in the future.” He knelt and began clearing a space for the fire. A few moments later, he sat back on his heels and glanced up at Isabella who still stood motionless, fish in one hand, knife in the other. “I take it, you don’t know how to clean fish either,” he stated, his voice tinged with careful patience. Her shoulders lifted in a helpless shrug.

“How can you have been raised on a farm and know nothing about cleaning fish?” he demanded as he stood and brushed his hands on his thighs. “Surely your family butchered animals. There must have been the occasional rabbit.”

She shifted uneasily searching for a plausible answer to his questions. “We never ate fish,” she finally mumbled, unable to think of a better explanation.
Marco looked stunned. “Well, what did you eat?”

“Bread, signori. And cheese. When we did have meat my father butchered it. I did mention I sold our farm.” She flashed him an embarrassed glance from beneath her lashes. “Now you know why. I get sick at the sight of blood.”

Marco shook his head. “Well, it’s time you got over that. I’ll build the fire but you, Sandro, are going to clean these fish. I’ll tell you what to do but you’re going to do the work. Understood?”

She nodded. The thought of touching the fish made her stomach roll but she’d do almost anything to distract him from more of his probing questions about her past.

Following his terse directions, she laid the fish on the ground and prepared for the ordeal. Clamping her lips together, she grabbed for one of the fish. After removing the hook, a disgusting task that sent shudders through her, she flipped the fish over. Getting a firm grip on the hilt of Marco’s knife, she jammed it into the fish’s belly and sliced it open. Gray-green guts spilled out and landed by her knee.

She swallowed hard, her gaze riveted on the slimy entrails. Then the smell assailed her. Sweat sprang out on her forehead. Her stomach rolled and bile burned the back of her throat. She tried to stand up but her legs wouldn’t hold her. The black specks swimming before her eyes became a spinning vortex that sucked her down into blackness.

After a time, light began to beat against her eyelids, forcing her to open her eyes. The first thing she saw was Marco’s concerned gray eyes gazing down at her. “What happened?”

“You passed out.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I’m beginning to understand why you sold that farm of yours.”

Suddenly she felt his hands loosening the ties on her shirt. In another moment he would see the bindings around her chest and her secret would be revealed. She grabbed his hands. “Stop that.” Her voice slid up an octave. “Leave me be. I’m fine. I’m fine.” Shoving his hands away, she struggled to sit up.

“Easy, Sandro.” He slipped an arm under her shoulder. “If you move too fast, you’ll keel over again. Take a moment to catch your breath.”

She followed his advice and rested her forehead on her bent knees. Her position also allowed her to discretely tie the laces of her shirt. The panicked beating of her heart began to ease as she realized her secret was still safe. Composed once again, she raised her head.

Marco had finished the task of cleaning the fish and was threading them on a long stick. “I haven’t been much help, have I?” she asked with a small sigh.

He glanced up from his work, his fingers slowing as he considered her question. “You have a lot to learn. But I knew that when I agreed to bring you along. You’re a farmer’s son, not a trained body servant, so I can’t get too upset by your blunders.”

She flashed him a grateful smile. “If you tell me how to do it, perhaps I could cook the fish for you, signori.”

Marco shook his head vigorously. “No thank you, Sandro. I’m looking forward to eating these. You might drop them into the fire. Or worse yet, keel over again and fall into the fire yourself. I think it would be best, if you just sit over there, out of the way.”

She nodded meekly and remained seated, watching him arrange the fish over the fire. Acting the part of a servant was turning out to be nearly as troublesome as maintaining her disguise. Still, she was determined to keep up her end of the bargain. She just prayed it didn’t include anymore fish.

Buy This Book!

To the Discerning Reader Who Has Sought Out This Website,

I believe you were expecting to read correspondence from Kate Dolan, who writes Regency romances as well as other books that are not worth mentioning.

However, while she was supposed to be preparing this message, she was actually on holiday, traveling to a region of the southern United States known as Louisiana, where she consumed entirely too many intoxicating beverages. This was a family affair from what I understand, though whether it is Kate who is a bad influence on her family or the other way around is not clear. In any event, I believe she is in no condition to be communicating with the public. Therefore, I have decided to step in and take her place.

My name is Helen Wright. I can see you raise an eyebrow, so do not deny it. I fully realize it is improper for a young lady to introduce herself to strangers, but I must admit that I don’t care a whit.

And to be honest, no one else will care, since I am never invited out. I believe most people are afraid of me because I care more for science than appearances. My friend Sophie is concerned that I might set my tucker aflame with one of my combustion experiments. Or so she says. I think she wants me to stop setting fires in my room because of the smell.

Or was it the smell of mold she objected to? I cannot remember. I keep telling her there is much to be learned, but I see from the disapproval in her eyes that she does not believe me.

She is reading this over my shoulder and says she does believe me and that it is the maids, and not her, who keeps throwing out my collection of moldy toast rinds.

I tell her to go back to writing to her sweetheart and she makes a face at me because the letter she writes is not to him but to her aunt. I believe she and her sweetheart are after having a row about something he either did or did not say to her satisfaction. The two of them are forever arguing over something but I suspect they will marry each other anyway, just to spite Sophie’s parents.

Oh, dear. Sophie’s mother has just come to inform us that we must leave off with our correspondence and tell our maids what to pack for a journey to the country.
It seems that Sophie was not quick enough with her letter, and her aunt has already ceased to be among those capable of reading letters.

That is not the reason we travel to the country, of course. But Mrs. Bayles had been waiting on her sister during her illness, and now that the esteemed aunt has finally died, after rehearsing for the occasion so many times, Mrs. Bayles is back home and ready to set out.

I believe we travel to the home of some friends that nobody seems to know very well to meet a suitor whom nobody knows at all. He’s a baronet, so the family wishes to attach one of their daughters to him before he changes his mind. I do not think Sophie will be too amenable…

________________

Helen Wright is the frustrated “bridesmaid” (friend or sister of the heroine and not likely to get her own book) of the Cerridwen Cotillion Regency romances A Certain Want of Reason and The Appearance of Impropriety by Kate Dolan. Although Helen has complained that she never gets to tell a story from her point of view, the author believes that Helen would not actually enjoy being a romance heroine, as it might involve kissing a young man.

The Appearance of Impropriety
by
Kate Dolan

Blurb

When Sophie Bayles inadvertently ruins a young man’s chance for employment, she sets out to find him a new position. Even though he doesn’t want her to.

With the war over, Lieutenant Heyward Elliott needs work. The job hunt is made no easier by the meddling of Sophie, who is all smiles and helpfulness one minute and snobby and argumentative the next. Complicating matters is her constant companion Helen, a strange young lady with a propensity to drop eggs on people in the name of science.

Sophie tries to do the right thing, but gets all the wrong results. Her attempts to find employment for Lieutenant Elliott produce one disaster after another, until he finally orders her never to help him again. But when he is arrested on false charges, she and Helen at last see a way to even the score, by clearing his name and reputation.

Unless they lose their own in the process…

The Appearance of Impropriety

Excerpt:

“Did that make it better or worse?” Helen asked as they settled back against the cold seats of the carriage. The glass in the lantern rattled and the flame of the candle jerked as the coach started forward.

“I’m sorry?” Sophie had no idea what she was talking about. Well, actually, if Helen was thinking about the same thing that she was, then she knew exactly what Helen was talking about. But Helen was never thinking the same thing as anyone else.

She leaned forward, her breath leaving a faint cloud that hung between them. “Your fascination with Lieutenant Elliott. Has it increased now or was the kiss sufficient to satisfy your curiosity?”

“Helen! Y-you said you would not tell anyone.”

“And so I will not. I am merely asking you a question.”

“Yes.”

“That response was not specific enough to sufficiently answer the question.”

“I know.”

Helen sat back in her seat with a sigh of exasperation, her lips drawn together in a thin line. “You must decide, Sophie. Either we help the lieutenant tonight or you put him from your mind and let him get on with his life without you.”

“You make it sound as if I have a negative effect on his life. Well, I suppose I have in the past, but I can improve things for him, I know I can.”

Helen shook her head. “I saw the look on his face when we left. You can make things much worse for him.”

“Oh no, it was nothing. A momentary indiscretion. The heat in the room.”

“It was freezing in there.”

“That’s just it. The lack of heat forced us to do something that we would not have otherwise… It was a momentary lapse of reason.”

“An experiment of sorts?”

“Exactly.”

“The man is not a toast rind, Sophie. Do not repeat that experiment again.”

Sophie squirmed in her seat. Why did Helen suddenly feel the need to defend the lieutenant? After all, it was her modesty that had been compromised.

Or was it? She could not really be certain who had moved first. He was so close and then it just happened, like a storm cloud spilling over with rain. Something that could not be stopped.

Why would it be so terrible to try it again? Helen always repeated her experiments numerous times. And she was fairly certain her own experiment had been much more enjoyable.

Was it indeed just an experiment? Or did she want to kiss the man because she was falling in love with him? And what good would it do to love a man should could never marry?

She started to squirm in her seat again. “Ahem. Helen, why did you say we must help the lieutenant tonight? Surely we will need time to plan what we intend to do.”

“So you’ve decided then?” Helen had a warning look in her eyes. “The lieutenant will not simply be an experiment for you? A charitable project?”

“Y-yes, of course.” The hairs on the back of her neck pricked up. What was Helen suggesting? That in order to help the man she needed to make some sort of commitment to him? Were not finding him employment or clearing his name of false charges admirable enough goals on their own? Any sort of personal commitment—the word “engagement” screamed through her mind—was really out of the question. It was inconceivable. His station was so far below hers that she had not even considered the matter.

Not seriously, anyway.

Buy This Book!

Award-winning author Amy Corwin is an insatiable reader and a compulsive writer. She joined the Romance Writers of America at its inception and began writing for publication six years ago. Amy’s books have received numerous writing awards including first place in the 2006 Dixie First Chapter and first place in the 2003 Golden Rose contests. Her first historical novel, SMUGGLED ROSE, was published by Cerridwen Press in 2007 and received excellent reviews, including a 4-star review by “The Romantic Times”. Her second book, a historical romantic mystery, I BID ONE AMERICAN, was published by The Wild Rose Press in May 2008, and has garnered excellent reviews, including a perfect score of 5 books from Long and Short Reviews. She is currently working on her next historical romantic mystery featuring the Regency “detective” agency: Second Sons, Discreet Inquires.

Smuggled Rose

A cynical earl and a rose smuggler are an unlikely pair, particularly when the smuggler is a supposedly fallen woman the earl owes for saving his feckless brother’s life.

Nonetheless, Michael, the earl of Ramsgate, is determined to repay his family’s debt by presenting Margaret at Court — an action calculated to repair even the worst reputation. But Margaret has been burned before and is suspicious that Michael’s intentions aren’t entirely honorable…despite the certainty in her heart that she can trust him.

As the tension between them flares and Michael’s feelings for Margaret strain his self-control, an old enemy bent on revenge returns to challenge Michael’s iron determination…and threatens to take Margaret away from him forever.

* * * * *

Amy’s Tips for Good Characterization

There are hundreds of ways characterization can go wrong. I can’t cover everything, but here are a few tips garnered from editing my own and others’ manuscripts.

Let’s start with some good news. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is terminal. You can fix anything. You would be amazed at what a difference it makes to add a single sentence revealing a character’s motivations. Sometimes, that’s all that is necessary.

Since this is such a huge subject, I’m only going to talk about one major complaint: “I can’t get into or sympathize with your characters”

COMMON MISTAKES
• You didn’t reveal the character’s motivation
• Your first introduction to the character is through the eyes (POV) of another character
• You introduce the character at a bad moment
• Dominance

HOW TO FIX THEM

• You didn’t reveal the character’s motivation

If the reader doesn’t know the character’s goal and motivation, they will not bond with the character. The reader must feel she understands the character so she can be “one with the heroine.” Without that feeling, the reader may drop the book.

Problem: You want to hide motivation to surprise the reader later.

That’s fine, but you must give the heroine a substitute goal and motivation. And don’t assume her goal/motivation should be obvious to the reader by the character’s actions.

If the reader doesn’t understand what is initially driving the character to do what she is doing, then you’ve created the classic “unsympathetic” character that makes the editor complain, “I couldn’t get into your character”.

So how do you reveal goals and yet keep the surprise?

You don’t have to reveal the character’s entire motivation/goals/conflict on page one. You do need to reveal the character’s initial goal, some motivation, and a bit of conflict. Her starter goal isn’t necessarily her main goal.

Let’s say your heroine needs to find her sister’s murder and her motivation is to save her brother, accused of the murder. That’s the major goal/motivation for her. But, what if you don’t want the reader to know that in the beginning?

Reveal a starter goal by defining what she’s after now. This is a technique used a lot in suspense novels where the author wants to keep some mystery around the heroine. The starter goal allows the author to reveal a goal/motivation that is important enough to establish the reader’s bond with the heroine.

Example: In scene one, the heroine is talking to a private investigator. She’s trying to get his help to investigate a theft. Her motivation: she believes she doesn’t know how to investigate on her own, and the theft was a vase that had been in her family for years. So her initial, starter goal is to enlist this man’s assistance to find a thief. That’s the goal and motivation you need to make clear on page one to hook the reader.

Then you can slowly reveal the theft occurred at the time of the murder, and she believes the two are related. And further, if she can find the thief, she can prove her brother is innocent. And she can irritate/conflict with the detective because she did not reveal all of this when she hired him.

One last thing: you should do this for your secondary characters, too, or creating stock or cardboard secondary characters. Every character has to have motivation and goals, even if the goal is only a paycheck. And the more important those motivations/goals are to the character, the more depth your characters will have.

• Your first introduction to the character is through the eyes or POV of another character

This may seem odd or counter-intuitive. For this example, let’s say the book is a romance and your target audience is mostly women. You’ve introduced the hero and you’re in his POV when you introduce him to the heroine. Sometimes this can work, but it almost never works if your heroine is gorgeous, he sees her without any flaws, and he lusts after her immediately.

Here is the problem. Most readers can’t relate to perfection. And if they meet the heroine only from the hero’s perspective of her as the “pink of perfection,” how can the reader relate? The heroine is a beautiful, perfect woman like a plastic Barbie doll with no soul.

That’s why so many romances start in the heroine’s POV, so the reader can understand her fears, anxieties, and flaws. The reader can bond with her before discovering the woman is gorgeous. Or, the author can introduce the hero and heroine separately so the reader bonds with both characters before the two meet.

My preferred method is simpler: don’t make the heroine (or hero) completely perfect. Give your characters flaws, both mental and physical. Flaws make humans more human, real, and therefore more sympathetic.

When the hero first sees the heroine, he should see some flaw in addition to her beauty. And give him a flaw, too. Make her notice a trait she really dislikes in the hero, but even though she sees it, she’s still unable to resist her attraction to him…

Jennifer Crusie uses this method frequently and it works for her, e.g. “Welcome to Temptation”.
If you can’t or won’t add flaws, introduce the characters separately. Show the hero’s starter goals and motivation. Introduce your heroine and do the same. THEN introduce the two of them to each other after the reader already knows them and sympathizes with them.

• You introduce the character at a bad moment

Books always start at crises or changing point. However, avoid portraying your hero or heroine acting out-of-control. Do not make the mistake of thinking that showing your heroine spitting-tacks angry portrays her as a feisty woman who sticks up for herself.

It simply portrays her as an out-of-control bitch. The same is true for the hero.

You want both of them to be the ones in control while those all around are losing their grip. And then, you can gradually make your hero and heroine lose it, too—because by then, your reader will be “one with the heroine.” The reader will feel the agony of the heroine’s slow descent into the maelstrom of your novel.

Think of it this way: what is your reaction when you are in public and stumble upon a scene where a woman is yelling at another person? Do you like the woman or does it make you uncomfortable and wish the woman would get a grip?

Same problem.

You can, however, get away with it if you are Jennifer Crusie and are showing the heroine has a fabulous reason for being angry, and she’s got a sense of humor and is funny. But I have never read a Crusie where the heroine is angry from sentence one. The heroine tries to control it—her action sucks the reader in—and then the heroine loses it in an amusing way. And the humor offsets the anger.

If it is not funny, you are much better off showing some other character haranguing the hero or heroine. That character will be hated by the reader while your heroine is loved for showing self-control. This is good.

• Dominance

This can be less important for heroine, but really, you have to consider it for both hero and heroine. You don’t want either character to appear to be spineless.

Fathers are bad for heroes. If your hero has problems with his father (or worse, his mother), do not place the hero in an initial scene where the parent has the upper hand. Your hero will be perceived as weak and undeserving of hero status.

And avoid downtrodden heroines, unless she is deciding to revolt in chapter one. Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t show someone being mean to her, and her taking it. However, in the heroine’s head, she must recognize what is going on and plot to put an end to it. She must make a decision to show some spine.

That decision is her saving grace and will hook the reader’s sympathy.

Conclusion: There is obviously much more to this, but what I tried to cover are some of the techniques you can use to create characters the reader cannot ignore.
Good luck!

* * * * *

Blurb from I Bid One American

An American heiress nobody wants; a duke every woman desires; and a murder no one expects.

When Nathaniel, Duke of Peckham, meets Charlotte, he’s suspicious of her indifference. Too many women have sought—and failed—to catch him. Happily, Charlotte is more interested in dead pharaohs than English dukes and laughs at both him and his suspicions.

Her resolve crumbles, however, when a debutante seeking to entrap Nathaniel gets murdered. All too soon, his reputation as a misogynist makes him a suspect, and Charlotte impulsively comes to his aide.

Unfortunately, both are unaware that a highwayman interested in rich heiresses is following Charlotte. And that another debutante lies dead in Nathaniel’s carriage.

Some nights just don’t go as planned.

It’s been an odd week so far. Lots of little details to deal with, lots of social engagements, no real sense of accomplishing anything. My little man has been under the weather and requiring lots of cuddles. I’m in the throes of last minute party planning for my daughter’s birthday party next week. The pinata redecorating is complete.

I have been procrastinating doing any real writing, though I have been been editing the beginning of my latest project. I probably only have another chapter or so to go until I can type “The End” so I’m not sure why I’m dragging my feet on that, but there it is. I’ll have it done by the time I leave on vacation - promise! (which is pretty much exactly a year since I started it. Oi vey!)

This week I’ve been reading a historical romance set in Scotland. I normally stick to contemporary but was given this one as a gift. I’m enjoying it so much that I’m not sure why I haven’t read more historicals before now. I have no idea whether the dialog or the details are accurate and I don’t care. I love the tone and the atmosphere of the story. And it’s inspired me to do something that I’ve been meaning to do for some time.

Read Gone With the Wind.

I have a copy of Gone With the Wind on my bookshelf, given to me by a friend last summer as she was passing on copies of books a friend left at her house. I have wanted to read it for a while but I’ve never gotten around to it. I wasn’t in the mood and it’s a long book. Now that I’m in a historical mood though, I think I’m going to give it a go.

What’s on your agenda this week?

Barbara Millerteaches in the Writing Popular Fiction graduate program at Seton Hill University and is Reference Librarian at Mount Pleasant, PA. Public Library. She has published historical romances (one of which was nominated for a RITA), mysteries, and young adult books and is now writing Regencies for Cerridwen Press.
She lives in a creepy old farmhouse with her husband, a pack of unruly dogs and cats, and guppies too numerous to count. You may email Barb at scribe@zoominternet.net.

Regency Writer Masters Deep POV But Can’t Give up Her Historical Fix

After writing seven Regency-set historicals for Harlequin as Laurel Ames and four for Pocket Books as Barbara Miler, I was in despair at the shrinking Regency market — especially since I wanted to try my hand at traditional Regencies.

Was it me who had caused Regency sales to drop off? I went back and reread all my historicals, looking for reassurance that my career was not a fluke and that I am leading students in the right direction.

It was a relief to discover that I still love my characters and frequently I surprised myself with dialogue or a plot twist I’d forgotten. You really start to wonder about your memory when you are twenty pages from the end of one of your own published books and wondering how you are going to wrap everything up.

The only unpleasant surprise was that I had not mastered point of view until I had been writing for seven years. Since I started back through the books in reverse order the change was reassuring. The early books are still good stories, but I used to change POV too frequently, give POVs to not just secondary characters but minor characters as well, including a couple or horses. I had even slipped into the dreaded omniscient POV.

Noting when I did these things leads me to some conclusions. Mastering deep POV is linked to mastering showing rather than telling and avoiding back story. Any time I summarized past history I was tempted to tell it and get it out of the way, floating from one POV to another as needed. Now I treat back story like old wine. I don’t get it out often and serve it in small doses only to readers who have gotten to know the characters already. This has the added advantage of making each book a mystery. The reader has to wonder about the character’s internal conflict and try to guess until I show them what makes the character tick.

Although it’s sometimes necessary to present an opening in omniscient POV and zoom down to the characters, this camera-like opening is easy to avoid if you have mastered deep POV. It’s best to start the book deep in the POV of one of the main characters and with a line of dialogue even if they are talking to themselves. This is natural if you know the characters really well before you start writing the opening.

I take my heroines on walks with me and work out their personalities and quirks as the dogs and I explore the farm. The heroes I take to bed with me, usually after they have fallen off a horse or been shot. That’s when they introspect on their past the best. A good dose of regret can hint at a inner conflict and make the man more mysterious than labeling him.

By the time I start the book I know both characters and can write a scene with valid emotion to it. It may not reveal the deepest problem the character has but a longstanding one is good. I also give my characters enough family to be provoking. If a character is a orphan they still need secondary characters to aggravate them.

And finally I have figured out how to eliminate the minor POVs by having the POV character guess the thoughts or emotions of the minor characters for the reader. Of course the POV character can also read in the other main characters’ faces and actions any nuance not delivered by dialogue.

Mastering deep POV means knowing when to go shallow as well. During action scenes or when the character is hiding something, you stay in shallow POV. It provides a contrast to those plunges into deep POV when the reader can really empathize with your character. Cerridwen came to my rescue by publishing Music Master last October and now Two Hearts in April. Of course I publish in other genres, including a series of cozy mysteries, a middle grade series and a paranormal that still freaks me out. (Cerridwen will also publish Eye Walker, the paranormal detective series no one wanted to look at. But the Regency is my home. I don’t know if it’s the language, the clothes or the horses. I just feel like I fit in there.

E publishers both keep alive small niche markets and are willing to take chances on the bizarre or innovative. Most of the recent trends have come out of the e-publishing marketplace. The large publishing conglomerates are too ponderous to switch gears that fast.

Grace Montrose is a passionate auburn-haired beauty so in love with the theater that she does set design and costuming secretly at the Pantheon. Brandon White, Earl of Morewood, a bored aristocrat, writes plays he pays to produce at the Pantheon under the pen name William Marlowe. He is trying to create the perfect woman with words since he has never met her until he encounters Grace. Brand and Grace are both looking for friendship and intellectual stimulation but find far more in each other. Yet Brand is afraid to even mention marriage since Grace has been hurt in the past by managing men and unwanted offers. His heart has been bruised by fortune hunters as well. A murder at the Parthenon and a disaster backstage prompts them to sacrifice their reputations to save the play and bind their two broken hearts together forever.

Buy This Book!

Please welcome author Chris Power !

Chris lives in the southwest of England, in the heart of what once was the ancient kingdom of Wessex, and close to Stonehenge. For more information about Chris or her books, please visit her website.

Trained all his life to serve the will of the Great Goddess, Kherin is her Chosen, her warrior, mage and priest. Betrayed by one he trusted, given as a slave to a barbarian lord, when he learns his goddess’s purpose, he finds it hard to obey.

Rythian, having challenged for the leadership of his tribe and won, is forced to put the future of his people before his beloved wife and family. He refuses to let his sacrifice be for nothing. With enemies on the borders of his land threatening invasion and enemies within the tribe working against him, Rythian fights his god’s intent every step of the way.

Aided by family and friends, two very different men must learn trust and friendship to combat their enemies and become weapons for their gods to wield.

Buy this book!

Life has been hellish busy for a while now. This is a good thing, generally. Apart from a visit to the dentist for a filling which was amazingly untraumatic until I had to pay the bill, it means I have been visiting other people’s blogs and pimping my two e-books recently released, and traveling around the UK visiting and sometimes cat-sitting for friends. It also means the various muses have been cooperating and I have been writing many many words, but only on my stand-by novel. This is the one I return to time and again whenever I am afflicted by the bloody writer’s block on the current project. In this case, FOX HUNT.

SEA-CHANGE [working title] is flowing so well, I’m actually on the brink of finishing it. Then I will *have* to get back to FOX HUNT. It has been sitting there patiently for a few months now - well, it was its own fault for deciding to inflict me with the dreaded block.

In any case, SEA-CHANGE will have to be put aside for a short while so I can come back to it with a fresh eye to do work on the next draft or two. Once I’m certain I have the plot and relationships solid, then I’ll make sure I have all the location details as right as I can get them without actually flying out to Honolulu.

‘Okay, why is she blathering on about what is any writer’s working status quo?’ I hear you mutter. Well, because of the genre. It’s a male/male love story. There’s a bit of mystery, a bit of jeopardy in the mix, but generally it’s the story of two men, one of whom is gay and the other thinks he’s straight but isn’t sure, and their deepening friendship that gradually becomes sexual awareness and HEA. The key word is ‘gradually’. It’s over 100 k words and the explicit sex doesn’t start until the last quarter. So it doesn’t fit in with Ellora’s Cave remit. Nor any of the other e-publishing sites I’ve looked at so far. Their homoerotic novels and novellas have a strong emphasis on the erotic, and a simple relationship story will be hard to place. There would be a multitude of other e-publishers to offer it to if Cerridwen Press didn’t want it, if Jon and Drew were Jack and Jill.

But they’re not. They are both uncompromisingly male.

So why write it in the first place? Because they were in my head and their story needed to be written. It doesn’t matter if the book is never taken up and just sits on my hard drive to be read occasionally, and maybe shown to any interested friends. The important thing is that it is written, and completed to be best of my ability.

Does this mean I am not professional in my approach to writing? Should I be working only on stories I know would have a good chance of finding an e-home, aiming at a specific market right from the start? Or do I write what I want to write and think about homing it when it’s done? Until SEA-CHANGE, the ones under that heading have fitted into either Cerridwen Press or Ellora’s Cave, and the ones I have waiting in the queue are also easily categorized under mainstream or erotica. But somewhere down the line I will almost certainly get bitten by another set of characters whose story won’t be so readily pigeon-holed. Then I’ll have another stand-by novel, I expect.

Who do you write for? Or are you in the same place I am, writing about characters that won’t let you go until you’ve got their lives spread out over many pages?

If it comes to that, what *is* a professional approach to writing?

I’m pleased to have Cerridwen author Dorothy McFalls here this weekend talking about her historical romance, Lady Iona’s Rebellion - it sounds wonderful. Leave a comment for Dorothy and you might just get lucky and win a copy for your very own.