Babies are cute and it can be amazing to watch a toddler explore their expanding world, but I love talking to my children now that they are older. Their perspective can be so different and more creative than my own. And sometimes they are just flat out funny, especially when they don’t intend to be.
I had to take my son to the doctor for a second time when he was since last month (where did January go, by the way??) We went to an urgent care facility because it was a weekend and ended up sitting in the waiting room for about an hour before we got in to see the doctor. Many other people were also waiting, including a young couple with a toddler. The toddler was not pleased by the waiting and was alternately running around and wailing. My son was watching the toddler and getting irritated by the crying. He made a few comments about the child and what he thought the parents ought to do, none of which were helpful or practical. Then he asked me “Where do babies come from anyway? I mean, do you just like get them randomly?”
I paused for a moment before I answered and in that short moment thought oh my god he wants to talk about that now and I want to tell him myself so he has good information and not whatever nonsense his friends might tell him but honestly I didn’t want to start that conversation at that time and place because I was sure that it would lead to more questions and possibly some strange faces. So, I calmly said, “I don’t really want to have that conversation here, in this waiting room.” He nodded, without protest, and then asked, “What’s your favorite food?” All that private panic because the boy was bored! (I haven’t heard a word about babies since.)
Over this weekend we had a family movie night and watched Freaky Friday with Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan (before she went nuts). The movie was cute and the kids enjoyed it. Afterwards, my daughter looked at me and said, “It would be easy being you – all I’d have to do is clean!” Um… I guess she hasn’t looked in that room full of boxes lately! If “all” I had to do was clean, that room wouldn’t look like that!
(I on the other hand wouldn’t go back to 6th grade for any amount of money – the girl drama this week has been insane and heart-wrenching to watch.)
Last night I made a stir fry for dinner and decided to try and entice my son into eating it (not his favorite dinner) by including fortune cookies at the end. We all chose our cookies and read our fortunes out loud. My daughter’s fortune was “You will soon discover your hidden talent.” My son looked at her and said, “You have a hidden talent?!?” The tone of his voice was so indignant, like she’d been keeping secrets from him.
In other news, the children have been such slobs in their “kid zone” downstairs, openly disregarding my absolutely no food downstairs rule that I took drastic action. After I had threatened to cancel the cable TV downstairs and then spent two hours cleaning up their space and still found food wrappers and bottles under the furniture and in the corners, I decided I could be sneaky too. I found their floor, organized all their things so they could actually find and use them, and then unplugged the cable wire and told them I’d cancelled service. They were fairly contrite and resigned when they came home from school and discovered the TV no longer worked. Their only question was for how long.
Frankly, they don’t seem to miss it much and I’m enjoying the silence. I might just cancel it for real. Having no TV has very effectively put a stop to the food smuggling too.
Week before last, my daughter’s homeroom teacher sent home a note asking permission for the children to participate in an optional Secret Santa activity. The kids would need to draw a name and then bring in one small gift each day this week, the cost for all five gifts totaling no more than $10 for everything.
My daughter was very enthusiastic and started shopping with her own money at a craft fair we attended last week, where she got a tube of red and green M&Ms and a bottle cap necklace. We got the rest at the grocery store: a pack of gum, a chocolate Santa, and a small ornament.
All together, the presents may have cost $8. Tops.
Monday, my daughter stayed home from school sick, but asked me to take the card and M&Ms to the school so her Secret Santa giftee would not be disappointed in not getting anything. Tuesday the school was closed due to a gas leak. Wednesday school resumed and my daughter brought two presents to school for her giftee, and was naturally looking forward to collecting her three goodies.
She came home pretty disappointed. What did she get? A crumpled up notebook paper containing an old eraser, a used pencil, and one dice.
Are you kidding me? This was an *optional* activity. You don’t sign up if you can’t do better than the trash you find lurking at the bottom of your backpack. It does not take a lot of imagination to buy a candy bar or a pack of gum (and I guarantee my daughter the candy hound would have been thrilled with either). I can only assume that the boy (yes, it was a boy, how did you guess??) did not have support from home, but I’d be surprised if he didn’t have enough spare change to treat himself to something from the vending machine.
I’d like to think that if she found out about this, his mother would be embarrassed. Even if the kids forged the note and did it on his own, with gift giving skills such as these I feel very sorry for his future wife!
My initial reaction, aside from Mama Bear Fury, was to try to make it up to my daughter in some way, perhaps by bringing her little presents after school myself. One of the hardest things that I have faced as a mother is dealing with my children’s disappointment when people / life lets them down. In the end I decided that it wasn’t my job or in her best interest to smooth it over. There is a lot to be learned by disappointment. For one thing, it surely does make you appreciate the good things in life more, right?
Instead, I wrote her teacher an email to express my daughter’s disappointment and ask that she try to emphasize the expectations of this activity a bit better in future. Then I talked to my daughter about the point of the holiday, which is giving. She is getting great pleasure from seeing how pleased her giftee is with what she has been given and that will have to be enough.
Doesn’t mean that my heart isn’t still bleeding or my blood boiling.
Though I love to collect kitchen items – measuring cups and spoons, good pans, dishes – and I enjoy eating good food, I do not necessarily love to cook. (Who wouldn’t have a personal chef if one were available??) I do however derive a certain amount of satisfaction from making tasty and well-balanced meals for my family – a task that takes both time, forethought, and some skill – which is why I don’t appreciate it when my children make faces when I serve something for dinner they don’t care for.
There were things my own mother cooked that I liked better than other things and a few things that I didn’t like at all but I ate whatever she cooked. It just never occurred to me to complain about dinner (at least not to her face and until I’d moved out!)
I don’t think it is too much to ask of my own children that they extend the same courtesy to me. I don’t make them eat things that they have tried and genuinely given a fair chance but don’t like. Not everyone is going to like everything. (My mother did not make me eat acorn squash for instance) If I choose to make something for dinner that I know ahead of time is going to be more pleasing to the adults in the house than the children, I will make an alternate selection for them (doesn’t happen much!) But if I make something that the children have eaten 100 times before without complaint and they just aren’t in the mood for it? Tough. Have a bowl of cereal or go to bed hungry. I’m not a short-order cook.
I made it pretty clear a few years ago that I wasn’t going to make macaroni and cheese every night and that I wasn’t interested in hearing negative commentary either. My daughter got the message and rarely if ever says anything negative about dinner. She is a good eater and the way to judge her enthusiasm is whether or not she takes a second helping.
My son on the other hand can be a real pain. If it were up to him, we would only ever eat macaroni and cheese, pizza, and bean burritos. He has no problem making faces or pouting at the table, particularly if I serve chili. He too is a good eater (quantity) but lately his range of acceptable choices seems to be shrinking. Last week he made a big fuss about a meal I have served many, many times before and that he has always liked. I was fed up so I sent him to his room with nothing. He was mad and stubborn enough that he decided to stay there even after I told him he could return if he liked. Eventually he came back to the table, after the rest of us had finished eating, and ended up eating two big platefuls.
When I remarked upon it he said, “It’s good. I forgot that I liked it.”
All that drama because he forgot he liked it? Oy-vey! He’s only 9 years old. If this is going to be a battle of wills, then I’m probably going to be entirely gray by the time he is old enough to move out. I sure hope that he learns his lesson or it might one day his wife be sending him from the table hungry!
What can I say about this week except that it’s been busy? Moving is hard work!
The children seem to be adjusting well to their new schools. My son is a very personable sort of child and he came home on the first day with a thumbs up and an “awesome”. Can’t ask for more than that. My daughter had a locker to deal with in addition to changing classes and just the general newness of middle school so she wasn’t as enthusiastic to start, but even after the second day she came home saying that each day gets better.
What a relief. I have marvelous, adaptable children.
I myself have been busy. Some days I feel like I do nothing but run around and spend money, but yesterday I finally felt like things were coming together a bit – with what we have so far anyway.
My mythical lucky horseshoe must still be at work. For one thing, my little car keeps chugging along. It seems to get louder by the day and it occasionally belches a bit of smoke from the back, but it hasn’t left me stranded anywhere on the highway with a load of stuff and two children. Lucky!
I bought a washer and dryer this week and when I got the automated message for the delivery time, wouldn’t you know it was smack dab during the time when I go to pick the children up from school. I asked the neighbor across the street to look out for the truck, but as it turned out, they arrived at the house just between my two school run trips. Lucky!
I wrote an email to the local tennis center this week and they were able to see my daughter to “rate” her the same day. I also called the soccer club about recreational soccer. I just made it – their late registration deadline is today. Lucky! (The children are wait-listed and there may not be room for them, but they can’t say I didn’t try!)
Otherwise I have been spending a lot of time cleaning cupboards, bathrooms, and floors. I am not a neat freak, but I do like things to be clean and what better time to clean things than when you don’t have anything? I talked to a moving company about getting our things out of storage and it sounds like they might be able to do the job in the next 10 days. Lucky!
Sometimes you just have to open yourself to the universe and trust that things will work out…
From sitting on my hands for nearly seven months to all systems GO in a few days: that’s me.
I. AM. ON. FIRE.
My husband called to tell me he’d accepted a job in Michigan last Thursday and from that moment I started planning our move. I must have sent dozens of emails over the weekend and drove up to Michigan on Monday to meet with a realtor, planning to stay three days, two nights. My hope was to find a house and, if possible, register the children for school in our chosen districts – school starts next week, September 6th.
My sister has often said that I must have a lucky horseshoe stuck up my butt (ouch!) because I almost always find lost jewelry, find things I need on sale, etc – things just seem to come together for me. I have to say that while I had hoped to find a house, even if it meant taking something not entirely wonderful for the short term, I wondered how practical it was to expect to succeed in only two days. I resigned myself to the idea that the children might start school a bit late.
The realtor showed me half a dozen houses, based on the size and school districts I specified. A couple were awesomely cool in a Mad Men way but too small for a family of four with two very active children, a couple were too small / had no yard, and a couple were just dirty and / or stinky. I was actually still considering a stinky one because it was in the school district we wanted when I went to see one final house – one that I found listed myself on craigslist.
The house was everything that the others were not: clean, well-kept, large, big yard, quiet street, the right school district, and it even has a basketball hoop in the driveway. Given what I’d seen that day, I jumped on the opportunity. I am supposed to sign the lease today and from there I will go and get the children registered in school.
I move in Monday. We’ll be camping on air mattresses until the rest of our things arrive, but we’ll be in time for school. Am I good or what?
And how is this for a lucky coincidence: the realtor took us by the elementary school I had in mind for my son and they just happened to be having a new student orientation. We walked in and had a tour, cookies, punch, and got a school pouch backpack. A nice little school and the cookies and punch really hit the spot!
I may have accomplished what I set out to do for now, but I’m not done yet: now I have to go back to Ohio and collect my things from my friend in Hamilton (near Cincinnati), then go back (come back?!) to Michigan on Monday.
I’ve put 11,000 miles on my car since March and I’m not done yet!
The children and I have done many long haul trips together, but primarily by plane. This year we are driving up to the north woods of Minnesota since we are already on this side of the Atlantic Ocean and we have a car. I told the kids that it would be better than flying – that we’d be able to make our own schedule, eat what and when we liked*, and I even borrowed a dual screen portable DVD player for them to simulate that plane experience (which is more than I ever had on our long drives from Louisiana to Minnesota when I was a child we didn’t even have air conditioning or radio for many years!)
I also told them we’d have more space in the car. I may have misled them a bit on that count. A Volkswagon Golf hatchback holds more than you’d think, but not quite as much I’d like. Every square inch of space is taken, including the back dash and the floor space in the backseat. On the up side, no one will be reclining the front seats into their laps, the kids have about twenty new-to-them movies to watch, and all the other stuff I told them is true – we can eat when and what we want, *provided of course I can find anywhere to stop in the rural areas we’ll be passing through.
I expect the drive to take between two and two and a half days. I used to make the 19 hour drive between Kent, Ohio and Baton Rouge, Louisiana in one shot back when I was in grad school by leaving at 3am, but I think if I tried that now, I’d have a mutiny on my hands. Besides, I’m not 22 years old anymore. One benefit to air travel is that someone else is doing the driving so you can nod off if you wish!
Given the limited nature of the internet connection at my father’s house, I may post a bit irregularly in July and August. That’s okay – it’s summer and I’m sure you have better things to do than haunt my blog anyway, right? I’m sure I’ll be around at least a couple times a week though – after three years of blogging, I’m well and truly hooked on it!
There was a very dramatic thunderstorm the night we stayed in the wigwam. One lightening strike was so close I began to wonder about the odds of us experiencing a lightening strike while sleeping in a concrete teepee. Fortunately, we survived the storm but it was still raining when we woke up. There would be no Lost River Cave tour for us this visit.
Instead, once it stopped raining, we decided to visit another nearby attraction: Kentucky Down Under.
Honestly, if someone had given me a stack of brochures and just told me to choose a couple of places, I probably would not have selected this one. An Australian themed petting zoo in Kentucky??? Skipping it would have been making a mistake. We had a wonderful time.
The admission price may seem a little steep: $22 for adults and $13 for children under 14 years, but the price includes everything and is good for two consecutive days. I only wish I had known that on our first day!
Our first stop was the Budgie house. I have never been all that interested in birds – I like to see them in the wild but they don’t do much for me when they are in cages. This was a bit different though: you walked in with a cup of bird seed. I still might not have gone in if the children hadn’t wanted me to go with them.
(Click any image to enlarge)
This was a prime example of not knowing what you are missing until you try it. The birds knew the drill and swooped down on us the minute that we entered their space. What fun! My children were a little weirded out by having birds all over them, but I went back for seconds on seeds!
Our next stop was the Woolshed where we got to watch a demonstration of a dog herding sheep and then learn a little bit about various aspects of sheep farming in Australia. After the talk, we were invited to pet the sheep. Doesn’t this guy look content?
We had a little time before our cave tour so we visited the exotic bird garden and also the Lorie cage. These birds are a bit larger and the children were not as keen to walk inside the enclosure. Perhaps this sign (outside the parrot and cockatoo cages) put them off!
I finally managed to talk my son into coming in with me and at least taking my picture.
The birds were beautiful and it was amazing to have them land all over me. I am happy to say that the thief on my shoulder was unsuccessful at dislodging my earring!
Kentucky Down Under also has a cave to explore and we were lucky to get there in time because they only do the tour once a day.
It wasn’t the largest cave in the area but it was lovely. I felt a little like a muppet in Fraggle Rock wandering around all these passages and stairs in the rock!
This was a mammoth stalagmite that has already pretty well blocked on side of the stairs (we came down on the right).
From the cave tour we went to the Outback Walkabout to pet kangaroos – why yes, it did seem a bit surreal! Kangaroos are much softer than you would think they’d be. They are so soft, I’m surprised that you don’t find things made from kangaroo fur – or maybe you do when you are in Australia!
Did you know that kangaroos continue to grow right up until they die? Also, they can jump 9 1/2 feet straight up off the ground. I was glad that they remained calm while we were in their yard walking around with them!
The only two things we did not have time to do were attend a program on Australian Aboriginal customs and traditions including things like boomarangs and didgeridoos and also the presentation on snakes because we had to get on the road to drive back to Ohio. (Sshhh! I might have omitted the snakes on purpose!) We made one last visit to the Budgie house before getting in the car to drive back to Ohio, high on our wonderful day at Kentucky Down Under.
So, having taken the children to see Kung Fu Panda 2 on Friday, exploring caves in Kentucky over the weekend, not to mention the Wigwam Village fun, is it any wonder the children awarded me the Best Mom Ever award on the way home?
It seems impossible to think that I left Egypt five months ago. I had no idea of what to expect when we left – of how long we’d be gone or if we’d even be able to go back but what I wasn’t expected was five months of wait-and-see.
Our decision for me to stay in the US with the children wasn’t an easy one, but I’d like to think it was the most sensible thing we could do under the circumstances. I am more willing to take chances with my own safety (which I proved when I had my picture taken with a tank (what was I thinking??)) but we weren’t willing to do the same with our children.
There really are no words to describe how utterly fantastic the children have been through this whole period. They left Egypt with us believing us when we told them it was going to be a short trip, an unscheduled vacation of sorts. We struggled through homeschooling for a month before we came to Ohio to stay with my high school friend, then they had to settle in to a new school here.
Adapt to a new school might be a better description because it was not simply a matter of not knowing their way around the building and having to make new friends. They went to a British curriculum school in Egypt. Here in Ohio they not only had to learn a new American curriculum but a whole new set of teacher expectations.
I wouldn’t say it was an easy process for them to find their way, but they certainly made it look easy. After initially struggling a bit, particularly in math, my daughter brought home an honor roll certificate on her last day of school. I am particularly proud of the “B” she earned in math. It was hard won, and if she’d have had another couple of weeks of school it might have even been the “A” she was striving for.
Both children were teary when I picked them up in the afternoon – simultaneously wishing to return to Egypt to see the friends they left behind and also wishing they could turn back the clock here so they could have a bit more time with their new friends. My own heart ached for them both from a mother’s perspective and from my own – I know all to well that feeling of being torn between places and friends and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
With our summer vacation, life just may begin to feel a bit more normal. We’ll spend the next few months doing our usual Minnesota north-woods summer thing. After that? Things are still a bit up in the air, but if nothing else I am confident that my children will land on their feet.
It’s been another run-around-town morning. I dropped the kids at school, went for another appointment with the dermatologist (this time she cut a suspicious mole off my leg), and then to drop off the donations for the tornado victims. Now I have to tend to my son’s new pet.
The children have been asking for a pet for a long time and I have been resisting. I had two cats before I had children and I loved them dearly. The problem was that the cats did not love the children. By the time we were preparing to move to Egypt the situation had gotten so bad that I had to keep one of cats secluded in my bedroom and run a happy-cat phermone plug-in just to keep her from marking all of my things (guess who she blamed for bringing the children into the house??) I was at my wits end with what to do with the cats. They were clearly not happy with us and they were aging to boot – and Egypt does not have very good veterinary care for house pets. I was extremely lucky that at just about the same time a friend from North Carolina wrote me an email and told me her cats had just died and she wanted to adopt two older cats. Is that good timing or what? We went back and forth a few more times to iron out details and then I shipped her two aging cats. It was harder than I would have thought to let them go, but it was for the best. That was nearly six years ago and the cats have been restored to their former spoiled status and are living out their golden years in style. I still get status reports from time to time.
So no more cats. I’ve also vetoed dogs. Not only don’t I want to be stuck with the responsibility of walking a dog several times a day while the children are in school, but can you imagine having a dog with what has been my lifestyle for the last decade? How could I leave a dog for nearly two months every summer? I would go broke with kennel fees and the dog would go nuts. I have friends who bring their dogs with them when they travel but I have enough to keep track of with two children and six suitcases thank-you-very-much.
I have also nixed birds, rodents, and fish. I don’t think that birds belong in cages and there is the same problem with the vacation schedule. Also, who do you think would ultimately be stuck cleaning out the cage / tank? No thanks. I have many better things to do with my time!
Last weekend, my son found a pet that I could find no immediate objection to: a Venus Flytrap. It’s inexpensive, quiet, does not require walking, and eats bugs. What’s not to like? We’ll see how it goes. If there is one pitfall it is the frequency with which my son wants to feed it. If Venus Flytraps can become obese, ours will. It’s a good thing the new pot I found for it it is roomy…
I never dreamed I’d be gone from Egypt so long when we left on February 1st. I wasn’t really thinking much at all beyond get me out of here, but somehow I thought that we’d have a clearer answer on how things were going / how to proceed one way or another by the end of February.
Here it is already April and I am still not sure what to think.
In order not to drive myself insane with the what-ifs, I’ve been trying hard to be a bit more Zen, to take things one day at a time, not to get too far ahead of myself. If I can only get through this week… if I can only get through this month… if I can only get through the school year… maybe then I’ll know more about what happens next regarding whether I stay in the US with the children after the summer or whether we go back to Egypt so we can be together as a family while my husband looks for another job.
I had finally gotten to the point where I was resigned to drifting along for a while, trying to enjoy what Ohio has to offer in terms of entertainment and activities for the children, when reality butted in again: the school in Egypt wants to know whether or not we’ll be returning in the autumn so that they know whether or not to hold places for the children.
I understand why they need to know, but I’m not sure that my answer of how am I supposed to know will satisfy them. There are several variables that influence that decision and they themselves are subject to change at any time. Is it any wonder my shoulders are tense and I’ve got a sore tongue from industriously grinding my teeth at night?
There are many things to recommend staying in Ohio… but there are also reasons to go back to Egypt, at least for the short term. I’ll feel better once I make a decision – but then I’ll likely torture myself wondering whether or not it’s the right one…
I write books for fun so why is it so hard to write my own bio? I am an American currently living in Cairo, Egypt. Aside from writing, I'm a married mom of two under ten, a decent (if reluctant) cook, an encyclopedia of random scientific / medical facts, a wine lover (but not a snob!), and a Capricorn. I love to travel, spend time with good friends, and laugh at life's surprises. View of life - definitely half full.
