Jenyfer Matthews

I haven’t written anything new in months. Soon enough it will be almost a year since I’ve written anything other than emails and blog posts. Where does time go?

This year has been full of disruptions, of periods of brain-frying anxiety and also downright dull moments. But I’ve come to the realization that I need more than just time and quiet to be creative – I also need a considerable amount of head space.

When my brain is full of worry and stress and my heart is full of sorrow, I can’t write anything no matter how much quiet time I have on my hands or how much I might welcome the escape. I can hardly concentrate enough to read in times of stress.

My latest manuscript is set in northern Minnesota. I took a break from writing back in October because I felt like the story line was going adrift and I wanted to mull things over before I went too far off course. I entered a writing contest about the same time. The results from the contest were encouraging and I was all set to get back to work when my life started to unravel.

My life is still far from settled, but being in northern Minnesota is making me want to get back to writing the story. The essence of the story itself hasn’t changed appreciably in this downtime, but I have gathered all sorts of wonderful details I can’t wait to weave into the prose.

Now, if only I could find three hours a day – I’d even settle for ONE hour – that no one else was awake that didn’t also interfere with my own sleep!

For anyone who cares, this is the first summer that I haven’t gained five pounds immediately upon walking through the door at my father and step-mother’s house. I guess I teased my step-mother publicly on my blog enough – she’s had the usual ice cream bars and cookies around but hasn’t made any special desserts to tempt us all. The baggy jeans I left here last summer are a bit too bit. She did tell me to remind her to make a blueberry pie this weekend however so there’s always time to fall off the wagon I guess.

I’ve had lots of people asking me what we will be doing next, after our summer vacation is done. Short answer: I don’t know. My husband is still working on finding a new job in America and what I do will depend on how that works out. If he gets one, we’ll all stay; if he doesn’t then we’ll have to quickly regroup and decide out next move. I’d like to know more for the sake of the children than myself, but right now I’m doing my best not to think about it too much – I’ve had more than enough stress in my life in the last few months without stewing about situations I have no control over.

In the meantime, we’ve all just been hanging out and doing the things you do in the summer in the north woods: skipping stones on the lake, hiking, and berry picking. Not a bad way to pass the time actually…

My reading habits have changed somewhat in the decade or so.

It used to be that when I read a good book, I would gobble it up as fast as I could just to find out what happened. When I reached “the end”, I would almost immediately turn back to page one and start reading all over again, more slowly. Secure in knowing the storyline, I could savor all the details the second time through. I read almost every book I liked twice, back to back. (Hmmm…Sounds a little compulsive when I describe it now)

I still read books that I like twice, only now I’m usually content to put it aside for a while and revisit it at a later date. Sometimes a much later date. What’s changed? Sometimes it has to do with how many other books I have on my nightstand waiting to be read, but more often it’s just me. There are fewer books that I enjoy enough to get swept away in on even the first read that want to read them again at all – now or later.

Would it surprise anyone to know that I used to make myself finish books that I wasn’t enjoying, simply because I’d started them? I don’t do that anymore. The only reason I can think of to finish a book you don’t like is if the book is for a class or a job – there are too many other books out there to waste time on something you don’t like.

Some of the difference in my reading habits I put down to doing my own writing. Like anything else, the more you know about how to do something, the better someone else has to do it to impress you – or so it is with me anyway. I can’t look at a quilt and not see the pattern and the workmanship that has gone into it. I can’t read a book and not see the story structure, plot, and word art. People I know who don’t write seem to enjoy a much wider range of books than I do – even the same books sometimes. I can only assume it is because they aren’t being constantly distracted by the mechanics of the writing. It’s hard to sit back and enjoy a story when you are editing in your head.

(I recently pointed out a writing quirk of an author my sister and I both enjoy, much more hit or miss on my part. Since I’ve done that my sister can’t not see the quirk and it’s making her crazy now too!)

I’ve read two books recently that I plan on reading again in the future. The first is a historical fiction book I bought called Lily of the Nile by Stephanie Dray. It’s a fictionalized account of Cleopatra’s daughter Selene after they were taken to Rome as political prisoners after Cleopatra committed suicide. I bought it because it appealed to me as a sort of sequel to The Memoirs of Cleopatra: A Novel which I read on my trip to Thailand last year (was that only last year???) The author admits that the actual historical record for her account is pretty thin and hugely Roman biased, but it was a fascinating story all the same and I’d like to believe that her account could have happened. (Mostly I’d like to have seen Octavian get dragged through the streets of Rome in defeat and humiliated but that’s another story all together). I’ll also be looking out for the sequel to this one.

The second book I just finished this weekend drifted into my life during a book swap. I picked it up because I liked the title: Between, Georgia by Joshilyn Jackson. I read it in big chunks and when I reached the end, I had that old impulse to just turn back to page one and start over again. I have a stack of other books to read just now so I’ll probably just let the afterglow of this one simmer in the back of my mind for a while instead, but it sure is nice to know there are still books out there that grab me that way, even if they are harder to find now.

I have been lucky to read more than my share of good books recently, most of which have been recommended or passed along by friends so I thought I’d share the titles in case anyone was looking for something to read.

Little Bitty Lies by Mary Kay Andrews Light, frothy, silly and lots of fun – like mango sorbet on a hot day.

Hissy Fit by Mary Kay Andrews
Another fun novel by the same author – HGTV meets Antiques Road Show with a dash of Southern manners, humidity, and mystery.

Bed of Roses (The Bride Quartet, Book 2) by Nora Roberts
I knew I would like this book going into it – I’m not sure there have been any Nora Roberts books that I’ve read that I didn’t enjoy. This is the second book in the quartet and though she always writes a book so it can stand alone she also manages to make you want to know more! I’ll be looking for the other three in this series.

The Search by Nora Roberts
I really loved this book, particularly the details on dog training and search and rescue training. I did find the ending slightly anti-climatic given all the build-up but overall, it was still very enjoyable.

Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home by Rhoda Janzen
I really like reading memoirs, and particularly like memoirs that include glimpses of new cultures. This book was both interesting and funny. Who knew that Mennonites could be so quirky?

Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
A friend of mine read this book and insisted that I read it. I admit to being a little reluctant to read it because it seemed like it might be a bit heavy and somewhat of a downer. Once I finally did get started, the story was so compelling that I read it in a matter of days. The author has a definite political agenda in her presentation, but whether or not you agree with that it is simply a remarkable story of the author’s journey from a childhood in a tribal society in Africa, escaping an arranged marriage, and becoming a citizen and legislator in Holland. Wow.

I’m in the middle of another good book I’ll tell you about when I finish it. Getting books from friends can be great – I read things I’d probably never have run across otherwise.

Just a reminder that the sitewide Smashwords.com book sale is still going on and all of my books are 25% off – just use the code SSW25 at checkout. Offer good thru July 31, 2011!

Today’s post was delayed by rain.

Yesterday was a hot, still day. The only attractive activity was to go swimming. Lake Superior was so flat and calm that even I got in for a while.

Okay, I’m only in up to my knees, but I stood there for close to 45 minutes! A personal record!

And look how clear it is. Rarely have I seen the big lake so utterly calm. It looks more like I’m standing in a big puddle than a Great Lake!

I guess I should have known by the way the lake was behaving that something was going to happen. There was a tremendous thunder storm last night – my dad’s rain gauge measured 3 1/2″ in a few hours.

This is how the county road to his house looks on a good day – and I still managed to rip off the dirt guards on the bottom of my car.

This is how the county road looks after a hard, thorough rain. There was no way I was getting out this morning in my little car. There were a couple of creeks washing it out in a few places!

Is it any wonder I didn’t get out as early this morning as I normally would have? I am only lucky that the vigilant and conscientious county grader was out early to come and try and smooth out the worse of the run off before I did actually venture out.

There is more rain in the forecast but fingers crossed it will pass us by this time and give us a little time to dry out!

My husband rejoined our family this weekend – first time we’ve seen him since February. He and I honeymooned at my dad’s place before my father built the house that he has now, staying in a rather decrepit cabin at the front of the property. My husband hasn’t been up here since then, so the children and I were looking forward to showing him all of the beautiful scenery that we’ve been enjoying every summer.

What should arrive when he does but a heat wave and a blanket of fog.

Anxious to be out and about after sitting on planes for two days, we went out anyway. The fog gave an interesting layer of mystery to places I’ve seen many times in clearer weather.

(Click any image to enlarge)

Though it was damp, it was quite a lot cooler down by the lake in the swirling fog.

It was actually a bit foggier in person than this picture would give you to believe!

It’s always amazing to me to find plants and flowers growing out of stone in what is a rather harsh environment. These must be hardier flowers than they look to be!

You know it’s been a wet year when there are not only flowers but wild strawberries growing on the rocks!

They were pretty plump and juicy for having grown on a rock too – yum!

Saw this gorgeous flower out there too but have no idea what it is. Anyone?

It’s not supposed to rain so I guess we’ll just go about our business and enjoy ourselves. I doubt the children will complain it our plans center around swimming rather than hiking!

Actual wildlife that is – there has been no excessive partying in the woods (as yet!)

I missed getting pictures of the couple of wolves I’ve seen on the gravel roads in the area as well as the large black bear that wandered out onto the highway in front of our vehicle as we drove to Canada last weekend. I haven’t gotten any pictures of the doe and twin fawns who come around every day either.

I haven’t been totally unprepared however. I did get a picture of this cool stone figure near the harbor in town.

There were probably 50 stone statues of various shapes in the same little area. They were amazing to see and examine but it was difficult to get a good picture of them all because they also blend so nicely into the larger rocks upon which they sit. I loved the little man above because he was so nicely proportioned and had a round head!

Ten little ducks went out to play…

The mama duck was herding her ten babies around the shallow edges of the rocks in the harbor. She didn’t seem to mind the picture taking and it was certainly safer than getting up close to take a picture of a wolf or bear!

My step-mother continues to feed the foxes in her yard, but this year’s litter isn’t quite as tame as last year’s. They have started coming close enough to the house to be entertaining though. I practically had to run one over to get out of the drive way yesterday morning!

I interpret the above pose as an “No fair, Mom!” moment.

Last but not least, a big happy birthday to my own daughter who is 11 years old today. Where on earth does time go??? All in all I’m very glad that human children don’t grow up as quickly as babies in the wild, but time is still going a little too fast for my liking…

As much as I enjoy driving and the freedom that owning a car gives you to go where you want to go when you want to go there, I didn’t really miss owning a car for the nearly six years we lived in Egypt.

I am quite proud of myself for (mostly) mastering the art of driving a five-speed manual transmission though I still don’t love coming to a stop at the top of a hill (or even a small incline!) but I still prefer to walk to my destination when possible. Walking not only keeps you in shape, but you can also go a lot of places on foot you can’t get to in a car with the added bonus of never having to worry about finding parking. Walking also burns calories while driving burns fuel – which is getting more expensive by the week.

I particularly didn’t miss the maintenance and repair aspects of car ownership. I bought myself a car in Ohio because we didn’t live in a place that was totally walkable (which is pretty much most of the US) but I bought an older car because I didn’t know how long we’d be staying. I am really quite pleased with my little car, in spite of its advancing years. If you had seen what I was being shown when I was shopping, you would be impressed to!

There will be maintenance issues with any car, but particularly one that is a decade old. The first quirk I noticed was the car’s insatiable appetite for oil. It doesn’t burn oil, it just sort of absorbs it. I checked with the mechanic where I’d had the oil changed and apparently Volkswagon issued a technical bulletin saying that it is normal for the car to use 1/2 quart of oil every 600 miles. Hmmm… that is a definitely a quirk to be aware of! However, in the process of being a responsible car owner and checking my oil level after my long drive to Minnesota, the plastic sleeve of the oil dipstick snapped off. It would happen while I’m far from civilization! I’m now driving around with a wooden dowel plugging the dipstick hole until I get the part sent up to me.

All in all, if it were practical, I think I’d stick to using a kayak for transportation: no fuel costs and only two parts to worry about – the paddle and the body of the boat. Very simple to maintain on the whole. If you are in a kayak, you’re not likely to end up driving over a large hump of gravel left behind by the county grader and rip off a plastic dirt shield from under the engine, which in turn will lead to several days of picking up pieces of plastic from the ditch along the road to find the parts serial number. Nope, not likely to happen in a kayak.

Now all I need to do is buy a house by a large body of water in a town on a harbor…

Regardless of state budget crisises and the closure of state offices, when it’s a nice day, you just want to take advantage and spend some time outside – which is what we did on Friday.

I admit that my years living in the Middle East have left an impression on me – I don’t always follow the rules if there is no one around to enforce them! In my defense, I wasn’t the only one parking on the side of the highway and walking into the park around the barrier.

We’ve been to this park a number of times but I never get tired of visiting. What could be more pleasant on a warm day than a walk along a river?

It’s been a wet year so far and the river is really high. This spot, at the lower falls, is normally a place we’d spend a little time, rock hopping and exploring, but many of the rocks were submerged and the mist was flying thick off the waterfall. It was difficult to take any pictures before the camera lens was covered!

The upper falls along the river is called the Devil’s Kettle – so called because the river plunges down a hole on the left side and, so they say, no one knows where it goes. In years past I’ve been able to walk on the rocks right up to the edge of the hole and look down. Not this year!

There is always something new and interesting to see, like this butterfly buffet!

I don’t know what kind of butterfly this is, but it sure is pretty.

The trail in the park area isn’t so very long (though you could keep following it – eventually you’d end up either in Duluth or Canada!) but it can be challenging. You basically walk in and out on the same trail. The stairs don’t seem so bad going down, but going back up all 176 of them is a bit more work on the way out!

I know there are 176 because I had my daughter count them – 2x! Mwhahahahaha…

What could be better after a long walk at a river than lunch and then a swim in Lake Superior? Not much, particularly on a day when the lake was still and fairly warm. It was up to about 60F where we were. The kids ran in and splashed happily for about an hour while I sat on shore on a large, hot rock.

Our outing on Friday was made that much more sweet by a weekend filled with rain. I’m glad my car has heated seats, but I never expected to still be using them in July!

I arrived in Minnesota last week just in time to participate in a local arts festival last weekend. In other circumstances I might have brought along some quilts to sell, but since all my quilts are stuck in Egypt at present, I sold books instead.

It was my first time to stand next to a table displaying all my books and it was both a thrilling and uncomfortable experience. Thrilling because I think my books are beautiful and I’m proud of them and seeing them all on display together at long last was wonderful, and uncomfortable because I’m not used to putting myself out there next to them in the flesh, particularly among people I know in real life. It’s not a nice feeling when someone glances at your books and keeps walking, or picks one up and reads the blurb and then moves on.

Fortunately, I kept my expectations pretty low so any time I sold a copy it was a thrill. It was an even bigger thrill when a woman made a beeline for my table and told me she’d seen my book Separation Anxiety reviewed in the local paper and she’d come out to the festival to look for me.

Of course, I went looking for a newspaper as soon as I could. I will link to the online article as soon as it’s available, but in the meantime you can click the image below and read the review below.

I don’t know if it was the review or the display or a combination of both, but I did pretty well at the sale. I sold out of Separation Anxiety and I’m still coasting on the high of the good review.

My children were selling bottle cap magnets and pet rocks and they made a bundle. They nearly sold out of magnets the first day. When you can sell lake rocks in rock country then you know you’re either a born salesman or very, very cute.

I won’t be able to sign them for you, but all of my books are available on a summer sale at Smashwords.com. Available in multiple digital formats just use the code SSW25 at checkout for 26% off during the site-wide promotion! (Offer good thru July 31, 2011)