Jenyfer Matthews

I haven’t really been in a writing mood lately – illness and rowdy children will do that. And due to some pre-existing stomach issues as well as the pox I am limited in what comfort foods I can eat: caffeine, alcohol, carbonation, chocolate, fatty foods, and citrus are off the menu. There isn’t much comfort left at the end of the day but a girl’s still gotta eat.

So, in spite of the heat I decided to make bread today. Freshly baked bread slathered in butter is what I was craving today so I got off my butt and into the kitchen.

I may not be the baker you would choose out of a lineup because the pox get no more attractive as they progress, but if my family isn’t happy to eat the bread then all the more for me. They have all already had it and if the chicken pox was that easy to contract then I suppose I would have had it long ago and I wouldn’t be here baking bread right now. I’d be recovering from jet lag on the side of the Atlantic.

I haven’t been writing, but I have been thinking. I almost pity the poor character who will be similarly afflicted soon…

My neighbor came up to my place a couple of days ago to discuss a quilt she wants to commission from me and while we were talking she asked me a question about making jam — because of my “Martha Stewart ways”.

Those were her exact words.

More appalling than the fact that she was seriously comparing me to Martha Stewart, I actually knew the answer to her question.

I suppose it’s no wonder she sees me as a domestic goddess between the quilting, bread making and now home canning, but I wonder if she’d see me the same way if I gave her a copy of my book? Or would that just reinforce the image since we all know that only sad-sack desperate housewives and other lonely types like romance?

Obviously I’m being sarcastic but it does go to show why it’s tough to live an image down. People see and interpret things how they want to, making things fit the image that they already hold. Even if I did (get drunk enough to) pierce my nose, the likelihood is I wouldn’t be seen as a trendy Bohemian — I’d just be seen as some pathetic middle-aged woman desperately trying to hold on to my youth.

(I’m vain enough to add that I’m not quite middle aged just yet)

Oh well. At the end of the day, I know who I am and what I am about. And at least that lets me off the hook for piercing my nose…

I’m sitting here in my pajamas and my reading glasses – which I got last week because my damn eyes are getting old and all this computer work is killing them – and having spent some time in the last week reading other blogs on the topic of romance writing, I am considering pulling the plug on this blog.

None of those other witty, cutting, smart blogs are posting banana bread recipes or tips on stain removal for god’s sake.

I can’t help who I am however. I am a stay at home mother to two small people. I *like* to bake and I am a veritable encyclopedia on medical / nutritional / household tips. Friends come to me to ask me about stain removal and which vitamin is for what and then say “I knew you’d know!” when I give them the answer.

In spite of the fact that I like to make bread and to quilt, I do not wear flowered dresses or an apron. I only have piercings in my ears because two natural childbirths were enough self inflicted pain for one lifetime. I often admire tattoos but don’t have any because I lack the commitment needed to draw a picture on myself which will be there for life. (And does any tattoo look good full wrinkles?) Toe rings and funky toe nail polish are my biggest concessions to youth culture.

I am chatty and tend to make friends easily but I’m not always a nice person. I can be cynical, am frequently sarcastic and degenerate to being downright nasty from time to time (usually at safe distance – does that make me a coward too?) I like loud rock music even when I can’t remember the names of the bands. In my 30s I finally understand what PMS is all about and though I don’t exactly enjoy it, I feel strangely empowered by it (add weird to my list of traits).

Does this seem at odds with the profile I posted of myself? The strange thing is that all of it is true. Call it what you like: complexity, contractions, conflicts – that’s what makes people so fascinating.

I didn’t attend the recent Romantic Times conference and though I have learned in recent years that “never say never” is a saying for a reason, I think it is unlikely I ever will. Even assuming I become “someone”, I’m not much of a crowd person and cover models don’t do it for me. I’d rather not have people on the covers of my book at all, frankly. I prefer to let readers’ imaginations do the work.

My site meter goes up by drips and drabs with hits from places as far away as Iran and China but without comments I can’t tell if they are accidental or intentional hits. Do people actually come here on purpose or is this all just a self-indulgent delusion? My friend and fellow author Nina Nash has apparently been enjoying the banana bread she made from my recipe this week, but what about the rest of you? Do you guys like the Martha Stewart tips?

If I pulled the plug would anyone even notice?

SPEAK UP!

I’m about halfway through the edits of my recently finished WIP. I can only do a couple of chapters at a time before I lose my focus. Edits are as much about fixing the little typos and commas as they are about doing re-writes and if I try to work too long I just don’t *see* the mistakes anymore. Also, I start to lose my voice.

The best way I’ve found to edit my work is to read it back to myself out loud. I can catch all sorts of things when I hear it that my eye might just gloss over.

So, I edited three chapters of my book this morning before moving along to the domestic stuff. I turned up my music – loud – and watered the many plants on my balcony. I peeled and cut up some potatoes to make potato salad for dinner. Then I whipped up some banana bread.

Somehow I’ve become known for my banana bread. I started making it because I couldn’t keep up with my bananas – they would get overripe before I could eat them all. Now I just make it because we all like it so much. Thought I’d share the recipe with you in case you wanted to try it yourself.

Banana bread

1 3/4 cups flour **2 tsp. baking powder1/4 tsp. soda1/2 tsp. salt1/2 cup sugar1/2 chopped nuts (optional)2 eggs1 cup mashed banana (2-3)1/2 cup oil

Sift dry ingredients together (add nuts if used). Add unbeaten eggs, mashed bananas and oil. Pour intoprepared pan and bake at 350F/180C for one hour. Cool before slicing.

NOTES:I use 1 cup of all-purpose white flour, and the rest whole wheat with a touch of wheat germ.I reduce the oil a bit, the more banana you use, the less oil required.If you use a muffin tin, reduce baking time to 20-25 minutes.These freeze extremely well!

Enjoy!

on dinner last night!!

We’ve had visitors for the last week and I’ve been cooking – a lot. Last night it was potato cheese soup, fresh asparagus, beer bread with cheesecake for dessert.

I had made everything but the bread many times before. I don’t normally try a new recipe when I have guests but I reviewed the ingredients and thought how bad could it be?? It not only came out nicely but was the perfect compliment to the rest of the meal. Last night I was queen

Thought I’d post the recipe for anyone who was interested:

A healthful, foolproof recipe for high-fiber beer bread from the book Tailoring Your Taste, by nutritionist Omichinski:

Ingredients:
2 3/4 c all-purpose flour
2 Tbsp each sugar, baking powder
1/4 c ground flaxseed
1 tsp each salt, dried basil, dried rosemary, thyme
1/2 c unsalted sunflower seeds
1 Tbsp cooking oil
12 oz beer, at room temperature

Mix all the dry ingredients. Add oil and beer. Stir until dough is just mixed. Put dough in a greased 9x5x3-inch loaf pan. Bake at 375 F for 45 minutes or until nicely browned. Remove from oven and let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes. Remove from pan to cool some more.

My bread was wonderful. In fact, I know now why most recipes make two loaves at a time – because the first one is consumed while it is still warm from the oven This week I plan to try a recipe sent in by an author friend and blog reader – honey oatmeal. My mouth is watering just thinking of it. (Thanks, Anny!)

I tend to get a little obsessed by things like this. I get so enthusiastic that all of my waking thoughts – and sometimes my dreams as well – are filled with images of whatever my current obsession is. Many years ago, we lived in a place where there were wild blackberries growing by the millions around the football field of a local college. I became totally preoccupied by thoughts of picking the blackberries. I would go out in the early morning and pick as many as I could reach from open space of the field. It was hot and sweaty work and the bushes were covered in thorns but I was not deterred. Sometimes I would even go back in the evening to see if more had ripened in the hours that I was away. I dreamed of blackberries. My husband rolled his eyes at me, but he didn’t mind eating the cobbler and the jam I made as a result.

These days I guess I have enough else going on that I can’t let my new passion for bread baking take over in quite the same way. Two kids, writing, house work. I’ll have to settle for carving out time once a week to make my two loaves. I might even be able to make it two mornings if I’m really organized. I draw the line at getting up early, but maybe I could stay up late….Hmmm…