November 18th, 2015
I feel like I’m always apologizing for being absent, but this last year has been a very weird time. I have good days and bad days, up days and down. Some days I feel like I’m holding on to my sanity by my fingernails alone. I’ve had rough patches before and managed to continue to update my blog, but these days I’m also going to work every day and frankly that just isn’t that interesting a topic to write about.
And in the midst of my personal pity party, the world continues to implode. School shootings, suicide bombers, terrorist attacks. They seem to happen so frequently now that we’re becoming desensitized to it all. At least I know I am. Part of it is just a coping mechanism of course – you can only let your heart hurt for so long before you need to let it scab over.
Yet the Paris attacks really touched a nerve with me, which of course was the point I suppose. All those people just going out on a Friday evening to enjoy their weekend, many of whom will never go home and see their families again. No more cafes, no more concerts, no holiday cheer. Just over in an instant.
Like so many others, I feel helpless to do anything about it. I’m not prepared to condemn and reject every Muslim on the planet as a would-be terrorist any more than I think every fundamentalist Christian is a porn-addicted child molester. I lived in the Middle East for a little more than a decade and I know that the vast majority are just people like any other. People use a variety of excuses to explain their vile actions but it all just boils down to one thing: evil. None of these actions are actually coming from any sort of loving God.
Rather than curl up in a ball and weep for our world, I’m going to think globally and act locally instead. There is nothing I can do to influence world politics or sort out the tremendous political mess of the Middle East or the immigration crisis in Europe. But I can perform random acts of kindness in my own space. I can compliment a stranger’s sweater or earrings or smile. I always enjoy a compliment so giving them is a small but effective way to brighten someone else’s day.
I am not particularly in a holiday mood either, but I’m trying to jump start that by giving to others. I took a “wish” off the Sharing Tree at work – for a movie gift card for a lady who loves romantic comedies. It made me feel as good to get that gift card as I hope it will make her to receive it. I’m going to find some other ways to spread holiday cheer in the next few weeks.
I’m hoping that these small acts will create a butterfly effect – if everyone who I touch then touches someone else imagine what could happen.
October 26th, 2015
I put 721 miles on my car this weekend driving to 3 different “away” soccer games over the course of three days for each of the children.
Both the kids have been playing travel soccer for going on four years now so you would think that I would be better at managing all of the details that go along with it, yet it is a rare weekend that I don’t forget something.
For instance, Friday afternoon was really nice, but it cools off a lot when the sun goes down. Do you think I remembered to bring myself a jacket for the game? I didn’t realize I’d forgotten it until we were an hour away from home. How could I forget a jacket? It is ALWAYS cold and windy at soccer fields. Lucky for me the game ended up being inside. I knew it was supposed to rain on Saturday for my son’s game but not only didn’t it occur to me to bring my rain boots, but I also didn’t think about bringing along any towels for the boy to sit on in the car or any extra clothes for him to change into. In fact, we didn’t do an equipment check before we left the house so we got 2.5 hours away and almost all the way to the game field before we realized he’d forgotten his cleats! Lucky for him there was an outlet mall at the exit next to the field and the cleats that the Nike store had were on sale. However, it did POUR for most of the game so he was entirely soaked – and cold – for the 2.5 hour ride home.
Sunday’s game went mostly without incident – and I’m glad I remembered my jacket that day because there was a cold wind blowing. I did however forget my camera.
I recently read the latest installment of the Bridget Jones series (Mad About the Boy) in which Bridget Jones is a widowed mother to two young children and is constantly messing things up as she tries to get them to school on time, get their homework done, feed them and generally manage as a single parent while also trying to start dating again. The book was funny, but it also resonated with me. I’m basically the Bridget Jones of sports moms.
This weekend’s foibles were fairly low-level as far as it goes – the forgotten cleats could have been a disaster if not for a conveniently located sports store. Even though that could be argued to have been my son’s responsibility / fault, in the end that sort of stuff always blows back on the mother. It isn’t the first time we’ve had that sort of equipment emergency either – we once got all the way to Ohio for a tennis tournament and discovered my daughter had forgotten her tennis shoes (another conveniently placed outlet mall saved her butt). Once I myself set her tennis bag on the ground near the back of my car, got distracted, and then drove away leaving her bag in the parking lot (later recovered intact!) We have frequently been late to arrive for the warm-up for soccer games because I’ve underestimated the travel time needed. I seem to be the only parent who never quite knows what division / league / rank the team is playing or competing at – in fact, I am usually only barely keeping up with who has a game where and at what time on a week by week basis.
Worst soccer mom ever.
Because I like to think of myself as being competent, organized, and efficient, I was feeling slightly demoralized at the idea that other parents probably don’t see me that way at all. I’m sure I come across as disorganized and flighty. All the other soccer moms seems to have it under control – getting to the games on time in their shiny new SUVs, with all their equipment ready to go, and sometimes bring cookies besides and here I am tearing into the parking lot at the last minute in my ancient VW Golf and freezing my butt off because I forgot to bring a jacket.
Then I decided it didn’t really matter. My child is on the team, not me – so long as they do their part I guess it should be good enough that I get them to the field on time. It was never my dream to be a perfect soccer or tennis mom anyway.
October 23rd, 2015
I was listening to a radio show the other morning where the hosts were discussing how their children will remember them. One host was saying that he was sure that the children would remember things evenly – both the good times and the bad. The other host was just as sure that her children would mostly remember the things that made her look bad or bat-shit crazy.
I’m pretty much thinking host #2 is the correct one.
My mother used to tell me that she read to me all the time when I was a small child. No recollection. And later on, after I’d made some comment about my parents never taking me out to eat when I was a child, my mother reminded me that she and my dad used to drive me 1.5 hours one way to take me to a seafood restaurant I particularly liked for my birthday dinner – I vaguely remembered that once she mentioned it. I’d give you more examples but clearly I don’t remember that stuff on my own!
I do remember more than a few occasions when my mother flew off the handle in traffic and how she really, really hated when you asked her to take you anywhere after she’d gotten home from work. Once she had her slippers on, she was not going out again – or at least not without a heavy guilt-trip. I remember vividly how much I hated when she made vegetable soup for dinner (bland root vegetables ground up in a meat grinder and boiled in water).
I’m sure it will be a similar scenario with my own children. They won’t remember my reading to them every night when they were small either, won’t remember my flying internationally with them on my own every summer, won’t remember my driving them all over the Midwest (and sometimes beyond) for soccer / tennis tournaments, won’t remember all the perfectly cooked meals I made (nearly) every night for dinner.
They will remember me sleeping through the alarm and nearly being late getting them to a soccer game, getting pulled over for speeding on the way to a tennis tournament, burning some pancakes and setting off the fire alarm, nagging them to do their homework / laundry / take a shower (fill in the blank).
That’s just the way it goes I suppose. I guess the best you can hope in the end is that they can remember the feeling of being loved, even if they don’t remember the specific events.
September 23rd, 2015
It’s the third week of school and I’m already regretting that I didn’t enjoy summer more… not because of the weather, or the “free time” (ha!), but because I didn’t have to pack the children lunches every day.
Summer had its own drawbacks – because the children were more at their leisure (meaning ‘home more’) they were free to eat whatever they wanted, prepared by their own hands. And they did. In copious amounts. My son particularly made it his mission in life to eat whatever he set eyes on. It was truly astonishing to see how much he could consume in a sitting, let alone a day. Or a week. He is still only 12 but he is almost eye to eye with me and outweighs me. Since presumably he isn’t done growing yet, I suppose I have a few more years of his appetite to deal with. A scary thought.
On the level of preserving food levels in the house, I was looking forward to school starting – if they aren’t home most of the day then they won’t spend most of the day eating. However, being away from home puts the burden of providing school lunches back on me.
I’m not going to argue about who ought to be packing their lunch, them or me. Obviously they are old enough to do it themselves. However, it doesn’t take me long to do and at least by doing it myself I can ensure there is some sort of balance to what is packed. It isn’t the time involved in packing the lunches that I find difficult, it is what to include when one kid like “this” and the other one likes “that”.
The other challenge is that I buy things that I intend to use in their lunches and then discover that they have snacked on those things while sitting at home! So last night after I went shopping for fresh supplies, I stashed the goodies so they would not be easily found.
I’ve hidden food from time to time their whole lives – every mom does it whether it is because you don’t want the kids to eat the food all at once or because you want to eat it YOURSELF. I used to be able to use the cupboards above the fridge or the oven but they’re both tall enough to easily look there now. And once they see me getting things out of a particular spot, that spot is no longer a safe option.
I like to keep things as close to the kitchen as I can for my own convenience, but still out of the obvious places. Since neither child is particularly interested in making much effort in their food prep, I stashed the fruit cups in the cast iron Dutch oven and the cheese crackers on the spinning shelf behind the flour canister in the corner cabinet. And it just occurred to me that I could also get super clever and replace the contents of a box with the goodies of another – for instance I could put the chewy fruit snack packs in a box of organic bran cereal. That could sit in plain sight and they wouldn’t bother it.
I will admit to outwitting myself from time to time. I once hit a sale on Goldfish crackers and stocked up – then hid them and forgot about them entirely. A year later I found a paper grocery bag in the cupboard above the refrigerator and thought “what’s this?” Gave myself a good laugh. Unfortunately, my daughter was standing there watching when I made that discovery so there went that hiding spot idea…
September 8th, 2015
It’s the first day of school in Michigan and while I was looking forward to this day, I do not necessarily feel like I was totally ready for it.
It isn’t as if I didn’t know this day was coming. I bought a pile of notebooks, folders, binder tabs, and pens / pencils about a week ago. And I took both my kids shopping to get a few new pairs of shoes and some new clothes. But I was out of town all weekend and late yesterday afternoon I suddenly realized that I didn’t have any juice boxes or snack-y items for school lunches. And though I plan for my daughter to ride the bus home from school in the afternoon, I didn’t actually know what number bus that would be.
Why why why wasn’t I better prepared???
I like to think of myself as an organized and productive person. I suppose most people who know me would probably more or less agree on the “productive” part, but there may be some hesitation on the “organized” part. All of the areas that I regularly occupy in my home are cluttered. (“cluttered” is a far kinder word than “messy”) I can almost always locate any item I need when I need it, but I’m not sure that necessarily qualifies me as “organized”. And though I like to think of myself as punctual, I am beginning to slide on the scale toward a few minutes late to everything. I don’t like to think that people have this image of me as disorganized and tardy, but I can hardly blame them when I myself feel like I’m perpetually playing catch-up. The last few years seem to have drifted past while I was focused on just getting through each week without forgetting to do / attend anything major or required.
First day of school pictures?? Not at my house. We were lucky to have everyone awake, lunches made, bags packed, and out the door on time.
How do all of the other responsible grown-ups do it? And make it look easy besides?
August 27th, 2015
I was gifted a vintage step-stool by a friend who was moving – she herself told me it was a curbside rescue for her. It was in rough shape, but there was no way I wasn’t going to take it. My grandmother had one like it in her kitchen, though I can’t remember now what color hers was.
Someone along the way spray painted it white – which might not have been such a bad idea except that they also painted the chrome legs and the black rubber foot pads. This is how a step-stool like this should look (I got this one at an estate sale and it sits near my projects table):
I first tried to remove paint from the chrome parts with regular paint stripper but that vintage spray paint was not budging. I ended up getting some spray-on aircraft paint remover from an auto parts store. That did the trick!
The chrome looks a bit dark still but I have hope of either shining it up or, as a last resort, spraying it with chrome colored paint. The red is the original color of the stool. Guess what color it will be again??
I still have a lot of work to do on this project, but I can see how I can dismantle pieces to make clean up and re-painting easier. I’d like to get it done and installed as a cheerful pop of red in my kitchen before winter starts. We’ll see…
August 24th, 2015
I will admit upfront that I didn’t have the time or inclination to put much effort into my garden this year – I decided to simplify things and just concentrate on a few things instead of being overly ambitious.
The tomatoes are a success abundance-wise, though I have way more cherry tomatoes than I expected. I usually try to plant a variety of different types of tomatoes but obvious was leaning toward cherry tomatoes when I bought my plants. I suppose you could can a cherry tomato if you wanted to but so far we’ve been keeping up with them just fine. Yesterday I finally had enough large tomatoes at one time that I decided to do something with them. There weren’t really enough for me to feel like getting out my canning jars, so I made an enormous pot of tomato sauce instead. I used some for dinner last night and then put two large containers of sauce and two smaller containers of tomato puree in the freezer for later on. I hope there will be enough more that ripen before a freeze to get some more put up.
The asparagus… I really need to read more about asparagus. I have two large crowns of it and one of them was producing a few nice stalks every couple of days but the other one was making super thin and twisted stalks. I couldn’t get enough stalks at one time to use in a meal so I decided to just let them go another year. They are extremely full and bushy with fern tops now. I still see a few fresh stalks poking up from time to time so maybe I’ll pick them just for my lunch or something.
My basil plants grew very well and I got several batches of pesto made from them. They are looking fairly woody and old at this point however so they may be about done for the season. I was weeding this weekend and noticed what look like a few carrot tops. I actually forgot I planted those!
I was really looking forward to harvesting apples this year but something went drastically wrong along the line with my apple tree. It bloomed this spring and I did see some windfalls early in the summer but now the tree is bare. Correction – there is ONE pathetic apple hanging on the tree. What happened?? I am unaware that there was a hard frost after my tree bloomed – other trees in the neighborhood have apples. Did the bees skip my yard? Do I need to call a tree doctor? The tree only produces every two years and this was supposed to be the year. Sigh…
All I can say is that it is a good thing that we don’t rely on my kitchen garden as a major contribution to our sustenance.
August 16th, 2015
And holding on for dear life.
My vacation week was great – although too short to see everyone I’d have liked to have seen or to do all that I wanted to do. I only got to take my kayak out ONCE. At the same time when I came back I felt like I’d been gone a lot longer than a week so that has to be a good thing, right?
When we go to northern Minnesota from mid-Michigan, we go via the upper peninsula. So it only made sense to stop there on the way back through and enjoy it. The weather forecast was not great for either day we were there but it was actually quite nice when we arrived Saturday afternoon so I decided to seize the moment and see if we could get on a Pictured Rock boat tour that afternoon. The parking lot was packed but as luck would have it, someone had cancelled their reservation for 3 just before I walked up to the counter so we got on the last tour of the day afterall!
The last time the kids and I tried to take this tour we didn’t get to see the Pictured Rocks because a storm rolled in at the time of our tour so instead we just got a thrilling boat ride. The weather was near perfect this time. I didn’t get to sit on the upper deck of the boat as I would have preferred but considering that I got my tickets at 5:30pm and the tour left at 6pm, that probably would have been too much to ask. I still got some nice pictures.
Next on my list is to see this stretch by kayak!
We stayed the night in Munising and the next day headed out to Sand Point beach. There are several nice beaches along this stretch of coastline but the kids really wanted to go to this one – it is on a sand bar so nice sandy bottom and shallow enough the water temperature is fairly pleasant for Lake Superior. Because we went out in the early morning we had the place nearly to ourselves as well.
Once they’d worn themselves out with beach play, we went to have one last pasty before we drove home. I really do need to learn to make pasties. YUM.
Once back at work on Monday my good-time vacation vibe evaporated almost immediately not only from the things I needed to do but the things that didn’t get done while I was away. I guess that is sometimes the price of taking a vacation.
On top of that I had nonstop activities for the kids to keep up with. Two kids playing travel soccer on teams in two different cities. Need I say more?
Vacation already seems like a pleasant dream…
July 28th, 2015
In things to do…
When it rains it pours. It seems like I’m either cruising the internet at work all day reading the headlines and my horoscope or I’m working 12 hours a day. Lately it is the later. I’ve had 60+ hours the last couple weeks too. And I am not even keeping up…
But that doesn’t even count my home life There are always things to do at home. Sitting inside at a computer all the time gets old… so old that going out to the raspberry patch and pulling out the old, dead / dying canes begins to look like a good idea. Bonus – I don’t have to pick raspberries anymore! I’ve clipped my basil and made mega-batches of pesto twice and my tomato plants are getting ready to erupt. This is the year my apple tree produces too. I WILL make time to can pie filling.
I did take some breaks from working overtime over the weekend to go out to work on the deck chairs. My son commented that the chairs must be crap. I was surprised and asked him why he said so. He replied “because you are always working on them!” Well, they are pretty much done now – though I admit it has been a while start to finish…
The chairs were made in Egypt and the finish / varnish deteriorated in the much more damp Michigan climate. I stripped them and washed them to kill mildew on wood and then sanded every slat. I stained the wood a “golden pecan” and then applied two coats of clear satin stain. I am not however planning to leave them outside in future – they fold. I love love love that they fold (or I might not bothered to refinish them!)
Here’s how they look now:
Only two chairs but with all those slats, two is enough!
A bit closer view. I used these chairs with their matching table as my computer table in our apartment in Egypt, with a cushion. I did not figure they needed to be perfect now because I’ll be using cushions again.
They look good all the same though.
I am heading out on vacation on Friday this week. And I’m planning to do something completely unlike me – I’m going to unplug. No computer at all, not phone. Easy enough to do at my dad’s place in Minnesota! I’ll be in Minnesota for 8 glorious days and then it is back to real life in Michigan and then soon enough school will start again.
Where does time go anyway???
July 9th, 2015
When the tree people came to look at the giant tree prior to cutting it down, they suggested that I might want to move some plants out of the flower bed under the tree “just in case”. That is a huge flower bed so taking out all of the plants wasn’t exactly practical, but I did dig up a rose bush and a hydrangea to be on the safe side.
While I had the crew there with their equipment, I decided to have them grind out a couple of old stumps as well – one of which was in a flowerbed closer to my house. I have wanted to have that particular stump removed practically since we moved in because the placement of it made the end of that flower bed all but unusable. Imaging how happy I was when the tree people did their thing and I was left with this:
I could not wait to get out and start digging.
I decided that I was going to fill this empty spot with a large Rose of Sharon that I had growing on the corner of my house. The bush grew ok but I didn’t think it was getting quite enough sun where it was planted – in the afternoon this spot is in the shadow of the house.
I first dug up the monster hosta that were nearby and then went after the bush. It was all much easier to dig up than I might have expected given how large everything is!
Ta-dah! Looks better already:
I transplanted and split up a few tulip bulbs while I was at it, split the giant hosta to fill in around the edges of the bed and then spread the top with wood chips from the giant tree stump. Looking good!
I ended up digging a couple more big chunks of hosta for my sister to take home with her – I have plenty! I also ended up moving the hydrangea into the spot where the Rose of Sharon had been originally because it was getting too much sun and I thought it would probably appreciate some afternoon shade. I filled in the bed that was under the giant tree with a couple of roses that were also not getting enough sun.
I can’t begin to describe how happy being outside and digging in the dirt made me. The yard looks great too. I love being able to look around and see the improvements I’ve made and also know that I did it all with things I already had on hand anyway.
Now, to get the big dent in my lawn filled in and re-seeded for grass…