My husband has been a vegetarian for 20+ years, but I am not. We’ve managed to merge quite well – we eat vegetarian at home and I eat what I like when I’m out and about. When we had children, my husband felt quite strongly that they should be raised vegetarian and since it didn’t matter to me one way or another, that’s what we’ve done. We both know that one day they will make the choice for themselves (and have already – my son sneaks pepperoni and hot dogs whenever he can!)
Last week I was chatting with one of the ladies I work with at the library about Thanksgiving and she asked what I was going to make for dinner. During the course of our conversation, she asked me why the children were vegetarian so I explained about my husband. She said so? What right does he have to make that choice for them?
It’s not the first time I’ve had someone try to argue with me on the point, and I find it fascinating really. Why should they care so much what my children eat or don’t eat? They are perfectly healthy and well developed so clearly they aren’t suffering for their diet. Parents make choices for their children all the time without waiting to see what the children might ultimately think on the topic – names, vaccinations, clothes, schools, and religion.
Since I thought it was a good analogy, I pointed out to her that parents don’t ask their children what religion they want to be, they just do it. I knew before I said it that it was going to be a tough sell – Egypt isn’t the sort of place where religion is thought of as a choice. Of course, she was adamant that it was not the same thing at all. Religion is spiritual, a tradition. I guess I wasn’t supposed to mention the fact that as an Orthodox Coptic Christian she follows the church fasting practices and essentially turns herself and her children into vegans for about 1/3 of every year. Because it’s not the same thing at all, right?
I had to give up on that line of argument and just suggest she think of my husband’s vegetarianism as his tradition. I wonder if she would have felt better if I were to have lied and said he is a Buddhist, to give his diet a religious context?
Not to mention it’s easier than preparing separate meals. I think you were in a lose-lose situation with that woman. It might be ‘different’ to her, but telling her that as parents, you get to choose for your kids until they’re old enough to make their own choices (and not just about food — parents control just about everything from how much TV to what brands of clothing you’ll buy), it’s really not her concern.
by Terry Odell November 30th, 2009 at 11:11 amYou are totally right, Terry – but it’s funny how people take it upon themselves to argue with you about these sorts of things.
by Jenyfer Matthews November 30th, 2009 at 4:11 pmI can think of many other things I would be more upset about than diet. Weird, huh?
by anny cook December 2nd, 2009 at 11:36 am