It’s an unfortunate fact that I’ve gotten so used to being patronized for being a stay at home mother (SAHM) that now when I meet anyone new and they ask me what I do, I tell them but immediately feel defensive. What is it about a woman deciding to stay home and raise her own children that weirds people out so much? Do they feel somehow that my decision not to work outside the home is an unspoken indictment of their own decisions to go out and have a job? Why else would they care so much about what I do with my time? You wouldn’t believe some of the passive aggressive condescending crap I’ve heard over the years. Now that the kids are in school much of the day, people seem to think I’m spending all my time lunching with the ladies and being groomed at the spa. Because isn’t that what all SAHMs do all day long??
Just because my children are in school all day doesn’t automatically mean I need to go back to work. I’ve been working a few days here and there in addition to everything else I do all day every day and let me tell you – I don’t know how working moms do it. And when the children get older they are going to require more of my attention, not less. Teenagers alone in the house several hours a day? I was a teenager once myself – sounds like a very bad idea to me!
Last week I was at a farewell party for some friends and was introduced to a woman there. She asked me what I did and I immediately felt my defenses rise. She surprised me however by saying how refreshing she found it to find women in the younger generation who were making the decision to stay home with their children while they were young. I was nearly speechless with shock, so rare is it to meet anyone who understands and appreciates what I do all day long. I only wish there were more people out there like her.
I had occasional stretches when I was a SH mom. I LOVED it. Many of us certainly don’t work by choice. I treasured every opportunity I had to stay home with my kids. So good for you!
by anny cook October 14th, 2009 at 10:53 am