Living abroad has its benefits. My husband is earning a comparable salary to what he might make if we were in the US, but the benefits are better. The children’s tuition is part of our employment package, we get to travel, and I get to stay home with the children AND we still save money. As an adult, I understand the hidden benefits to the situation. It can sometimes be harder to explain them to the children however.
Both children attend a British curriculum private school and I’d estimate that at least 75% of the children who attend the school have a parent who works for the oil industry. The oil people not only make some serious money, but living in a country like Egypt allows them to really live large besides. They typically have very large homes, big SUVs with drivers, and take every opportunity to travel. One mom I talked to this week said that they had scheduled a trip to Sharm al Sheikh for the scheduled long weekend and then extended their stay a few days when they heard the schools were closing – to the tune of $308/night. That’s about as much as I would want to pay for the entire weekend!
I don’t begrudge them their money or how they choose to spend it. But my children are beginning to notice the disparities. One of my son’s classmates came over for a playdate and made the comment “your house is tiny”. By comparison to his, I guess it is. His kitchen is as large as our kitchen, dining, and living rooms put together. Since I’m the one cleaning our home, I’m not too bothered by it being “tiny”! It’s plenty big enough for us, especially since most of time we are only ever all here at once to sleep 
Last Thursday one of my daughter’s classmate had a leaving party at the school grounds. The invitation said to bring a swimsuit and goggles so I assumed it would be a swimming party. It was more like a small carnival. There were two bouncy castles (one small, one large), a bungee jump trampoline, a DJ, a popcorn cart, a bubble show, face painting and henna, and a large slip-n-slide in addition to a videographer, a table full of cup cakes, snacks, and juice. It was a beautiful day, the children had a wonderful time, and it certainly was a nice change of pace from sitting inside doing homework.
Things cost less here than they do in the US or Europe, but I’m sure it still cost a good bit for all of that. Certainly more than I would ever have considered spending on a child’s farewell party. Beyond the cost, I couldn’t help but wonder what that sort of display was going to do for my children’s sense of what is appropriate for parties. I skipped a birthday party for my daughter last June because there were so many scheduled it was ridiculous and each party was more elaborate than the last. *I* felt overwhelmed and totally inadequate so how must my daughter feel when I hang up a few balloons in the yard and invite her friends over to run through a sprinkler?
When my children have questioned why we don’t have a car, why it is that we don’t go to the Red Sea every weekend and why we rarely travel as a family outside of our summer vacations, I have to tell them that we don’t choose to spend our money that way. But I can already see that that answer is going to be less satisfying as they get older and want the same things their friends have. I’m okay with that, but I’m not sure I would want to know their answer to being given the choice between having a laptop for Christmas or having their mother at home to greet them after school and ease their life in so many countless and unseen ways!
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by Valuable Internet Information » Can’t Compete September 28th, 2009 at 5:36 amI think that’s a common enough situation no matter what the income level.
We discussed finances before we had kids, and made the conscious decision to never have to rely on 2 incomes to put food on the table or make the mortgage payments. We didn’t take fancy vacations, although they did reap the benefits of indulgent grandparents who wanted them to visit every summer, and sent plenty of gifts.
I recall shopping, and pointing out that buying the PJs with Winnie the Pooh would mean that’s all they could have, but if we bought plain PJs, and I used my fabric paints, they could have anything they wanted on them, plus there would be money for something else.
In later years, my daughter said she didn’t mind wearing KMart clothes; what she minded was being seen shopping for them. But she let me pick out stuff for her.
by Terry Odell September 28th, 2009 at 9:24 amYou are right of course. At least my children don’t yet mind going into thrift stores. My daughter found a couple of shirts she liked this summer and said “why would anyone give this away??”
by Jenyfer September 28th, 2009 at 10:05 am